grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
GA: Your Speech Was Really GA: Emotional CG: OK I DEFINITELY DON'T NEED YOU BUSTING MY BULGE ABOUT THE SPEECH NOW. CG: I'VE TAKEN ENOUGH SHIT. I GOT A LITTLE WORKED UP OK? CG: AND IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, WHY DON'T YOU COME SAY IT TO MY FACE. CG: I'M FED UP WITH THESE BACK DOOR NOOKBITING SHENANIGANS. GA: I Dont Mean To Critique Your Speech GA: I Just Wanted To Ask You Something In Confidence GA: About The Humans CG: OK, WHAT IS IT? GA: Are You Sure Theyre Responsible For Our Misfortune CG: YES. THERE IS NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. GA: Was It On Account Of Malice Or Incompetence CG: I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE BOTH? CG: WHY DOES IT MATTER. GA: It Sort Of Does GA: Im Not Even That Sure Why GA: This Is A Difficult Topic For Me To Broach GA: For Reasons That You Probably Wont Understand CG: GOD DAMMIT. CG: NO MORE MYSTERIES, PLEASE. CG: YOU'D THINK WE'D HAD OUR FILL OF THEM BY NOW. CG: IF I HAVE TO SOLVE ONE MORE RIDDLE, I'M GOING TO... CG: I DON'T KNOW. GA: Will Your Response Involve An Athletic Maneuver Of Some Sort CG: NO CG: ABSOLUTELY NOT. CG: I WILL JUST GO OVER THERE AND WEEP GENTLY IN THE HORN PILE. CG: SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THIS ABOUT? GA: Um CG: WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS CG: THEY ARE ALL LUDICROUSLY INCOMPETENT. CG: SOFT, PINK FRAGILE THINGS WHO DO NOTHING BUT WASTE TIME. CG: THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE HORNS! GA: What GA: Really CG: YEAH, I WAS LIKE, WHOA DID THEY GET FILED DOWN OR SOMETHING CG: BUT NO IT TURNS OUT THAT'S JUST HOW THEY ARE. GA: Weird CG: THEY'RE A MISERABLE POINTLESS CROP OF LIFEFORMS FROM A MEANINGLESS BORING PUSTULE OF A PLANET. CG: IT'S INFURIATING THEY WERE SOMEHOW ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY INFLUENCE OVER US. GA: It Is Pretty Disheartening GA: But GA: You Are Absolutely Sure They Are All Failures GA: And That They Have No Chance Of Succeeding CG: YEP. CG: IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE. GA: Im Not Sure Which Depresses Me More GA: The Sabotage Of Our Session Or The Futility Of Theirs CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. CG: YOU'RE BEING REALLY WEIRD ABOUT THIS. GA: Well I Havent Asked What I Wanted To Ask CG: THEN ASK!!! GA: Its About TentacleTherapist CG: YEAH. THAT'S THE ROSE HUMAN. CG: SHE'S APPARENTLY PRETTY SARCASTIC. CG: IT'S IN MY NOTES. GA: You Have Notes On Them CG: YES. GA: I Guess GA: Thats Why Youre Our Leader Karkat CG: NO, I'M YOUR LEADER BECAUSE OF MY INCREDIBLE TACTICAL SKILLS AND MY ABILITY TO MOBILIZE AND MOTIVATE A BUNCH OF USELESS PEOPLE TOWARD A COMMON GOAL, AND BECAUSE I'M EXTREMELY AMBITIOUS AND INTREPID. ALSO BECAUSE LEADERSHIP IS IN MY BLOOD. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS. GA: Statements Like That Are Also Why Youre Our Leader CG: OK, I'LL ACCEPT THAT. GA: Have You Talked To Her CG: WHO GA: The Rose Human GA: Also GA: Do We Really Have To Say Things Like The Rose Human CG: OF COURSE WE DO. CG: IT SOUNDS SUITABLY DISDAINFUL. CG: I MEAN, IF A BUNCH OF ALIENS STARTED HASSLING YOU, YOU WOULD EXPECT THEM TO ACT REALLY HIGH AND MIGHTY, AND SUPERIOR IN EVERY WAY, RIGHT?. CG: WHICH WE ARE, OF COURSE. GA: Uh Okay CG: AND NO, I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER. CG: I WILL PROBABLY STEER CLEAR OF HER FOR THE MOST PART. CG: I HAVE MY SIGHTS SET ON THE JOHN HUMAN, AND PROBABLY ALSO THE JADE HUMAN, SHE'S A HUGE CULPRIT TOO. GA: It Just GA: Feels Really Silly When We Say Things Like The John Human In Confidence Amongst Ourselves CG: WE HAVE TO COMMIT TO THIS. STAY IN CHARACTER, YOU KNOW? CG: REMEMBER THE SPEECH. GA: The Speech Has Become Emblazoned On My Think Pan GA: Virtually Ensconced In The Fold Of My Personal Mythology CG: DID YOU WANT TO TROLL HER? ARE YOU VOLUNTEERING? CG: BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE GREAT, I'D REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. GA: I Dont Know GA: Im Not Sure If Ive Got It In Me Right Now CG: COME ON. YOU'LL BE GREAT AT IT. CG: PLEASE JUST DO THIS ONE THING FOR ME. WE'VE GOT TO STAY COORDINATED ON THIS. CG: TOO MANY OF THESE FUCKS ARE GOING ROGUE. CG: LIKE WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING. GA: Fine CG: GREAT! THANKS KANAYA. CG: I'LL EXPECT A FULL REPORT SOON. GA: A Report About What CG: LIKE CG: HOW HASSLED YOU GOT HER TO BE CG: BUT LESS STUPID SOUNDING THAN THAT. GA: Is There A Metric For That Concept CG: NO CG: WELL THERE COULD BE CG: WE CAN GAUGE YOUR RESULTS WITH THE "FLIGHTY BROADS AND THEIR SNARKY HORSESHITOMETER". GA: That Seems Just As Disparaging To Me As It Is To Her CG: YEAH WELL CG: USE IT AS MOTIVATION CG: I GOTTA GET CRACKING HERE, LATER.