TG: like i was under attack there
TG: my colony was burning
TG: and i remember dying
TG: and i think jane must have died too?
TG: she was on derse but i have no idea how she got there
TG: i dunno if jake died too or what
TG: all i know is ppl were just dying their asses off left and right
TG: the b line is we were all in some shit
TG: dirk i think must have killed himself and like shipped his own head to jake on makeout mountain
TG: but dirk also kissed me it would seem
TG: while i was too dead to notice UNFORTUNATELY :c
TG: but then i woke up on derse which was gettin worked over by the red shit too
TG: and there jane was
TG: all lyin there bloodily and heart breakingly and probably dead
TG: so
TG: i knew i had to kiss her
TG: but
TG: god i feel so pathetic but i just couldnt do it for some reason?
TG: i wanted to but i guess the blood grossed me out and im a total disgrace of a friend
TG: i dont think ill tell her because its too embarrassing
TG: then dirk wakes up and kicks my squeamish butt out the way and kisses her even in spite of his superhuman gayness because he sucks less as a hero
TG: and then were blasting off suddenly on his fuckin rocket and i dont even KNOW whats happening but its all so awesome and we scoot by somewhere and pick jane up in her yellow dress and now SHES flying with us screamin the whole time hahahaha
TG: and then we get to jakes place and shit everywhere is on fire and hes asleep there so dirk splashes him with a bucket of ocean and tells me and jane to hide??
TG: so we do and jake wakes up and starts arguing with dirks gross head from the fucking future and climbs up on this stone wall for some reason and just starts making out with the head while the volcano explodes???
TG: jane and i are like what the absolute FUCK while dirks just there with his bucket all like 'yup'
TG: then we ollied out of that popsicle stand so now here we are
TG: wow
TG: that story is a goddamn mess
TG: what did i even just say