DAVESPRITE: i guess she left already? DAVESPRITE: maybe there was an emergency somewhere and her doggy senses led her there DAVESPRITE: maybe someone fell down a well DAVESPRITE: what do you think john do you think our teen parents fell down a well DAVESPRITE: nah i sincerely doubt that any of them would be that pathetic DAVESPRITE: whatever it was it must have been important enough for jade to ditch us like this DAVESPRITE: either that or DAVESPRITE: maybe she was that desperate to finally get away from me DAVESPRITE: between you and me john DAVESPRITE: i didnt really handle things with her as well as i could have DAVESPRITE: oh well maybe real dave will treat her better DAVESPRITE: or not i dont know DAVESPRITE: i did her a favor cutting bird dave out of her life DAVESPRITE: nobody really deserves bird dave as a boyfriend or a friend or anything its like getting one of the janky daves from the bargain bin at the dave depot DAVESPRITE: or one of the marked down daves the day after national dave day DAVESPRITE: its like somebody taxedermized your dave and expected you not to notice DAVESPRITE: "feathers what feathers haha no that dave is totally normal and ok" DAVESPRITE: you should just go back to being bros with real dave when you see him DAVESPRITE: ill be fine ill just flap around and do my thing alone DAVESPRITE: im completely alright with that at this point DAVESPRITE: we had our ups and downs john but all in all it was cool to go on this road trip with you DAVESPRITE: there were some times man DAVESPRITE: the times DAVESPRITE: im telling you they were unreal DAVESPRITE: i bet you people would pay good money to see every second of the madcap stunts that were going down on this ship basically 24/7 DAVESPRITE: if hulls could talk wow DAVESPRITE: haha just joking it was seriously boring as hell DAVESPRITE: but i mean it was still cool so yeah DAVESPRITE: hey DAVESPRITE: whats that ring anyway DAVESPRITE: ive seen you with that ring before and i guess i was just like DAVESPRITE: ok john has a magic ring for some reason DAVESPRITE: no need to mention that or anything DAVESPRITE: but where did you even get it DAVESPRITE: you cant even hear me you got your snooze on so hard DAVESPRITE: aint gonna wake you up to hassle you about no ring DAVESPRITE: i probably should have said all this stuff when you were awake anyway DAVESPRITE: like the stuff about friendship DAVESPRITE: fuck it ill just leave another one of my patented magic notes taped to your shoe or your cowlick or something DAVESPRITE: my magic notes rule ill miss leavin em taped on stuff