Your server player's confusion is only in part due to learning the ropes of a new game. There is a more significant reason for her befuddlement.
While she followed your advice and went through the simple motions of game setup, at no point were you visible on her monitor. She saw your damaged hive. She saw the alchemiter and other devices she deployed. She saw the strange computing device on the floor, bearing the visage of a species she didn't recognize. She even saw a great big stone frog head fly through the air all by itself, and become the Frogsprite.
And though she would ask why, and you would always delay the answer, the fact remained.
She couldn't see you.