carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --
CG: HEY JOHN. CG: CALM THE HELL DOWN. EB: aaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!! EB: how did you find me????? CG: FIND YOU? CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN. EB: i changed my chum handle to ditch you guys. EB: how did you find me? CG: OH. CG: HA HA! CG: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! CG: THIS IS THE LITTLE WORD HUMANS SAY REPEATEDLY WHEN SOMETHING TICKLES THEIR ABSURDITY PALATE, RIGHT? EB: uh... EB: lame. CG: WE NEVER LOST YOU. CG: YOUR RUSE DIDN'T FOOL US. CG: IT JUST SO HAPPENS WE DIDN'T PARTICULARLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT TALKING TO YOU IN THAT TIMEFRAME. EB: what, the last few months? CG: WE HAVE THE ENTIRE CONTINUUM OF YOUR EXISTENCE TO CHOOSE FROM WHEN CONTACTING YOU. CG: THE PERIOD WAS UNREMARKABLE. CG: SORT OF LIKE YOUR WHOLE LIFE. BUT I GUESS I MEAN IT WAS ESPECIALLY UNREMARKABLE. CG: THIS HAS BEEN EXPLAINED TO YOU SO OFTEN IT WOULD MAKE ME SICK TO MY HUMAN STOMACH IF I HAD ONE OF YOUR HUMAN STOMACHS. EB: ok, this time i'll believe you that you aren't human. EB: because the skepticism center of my brain is starting to wear kind of thin i guess. EB: but you're still a major asshole and i don't actually want to talk to you, so bye. CG: WAIT. CG: BUT I'M NOT HERE TO TROLL YOU THIS TIME. CG: WE'RE FRIENDS OK? EB: hahahahahaha! EB: oh man, look at this outburst of little human words i'm saying! EB: from my human mouth! CG: FINE YOU CAN THINK I'M A FUCKING DOUCHE AND MAYBE I AM BUT HERE'S THE FACT, IDIOT. CG: I'VE ALREADY HAD LOTS OF CONVERSATIONS WITH YOU. CG: IN THE FUTURE. I MEAN YOUR FUTURE. CG: I'VE KIND OF BEEN WORKING BACKWARDS HERE FOR A WHILE. CG: AND IT'S A LITTLE FRUSTRATING. CG: EVERY TIME I GO FURTHER BACK YOU KNOW LESS AND LESS, AND YOU DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING I SAID BECAUSE IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET. CG: AND I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF A LOT. CG: AND I'M GETTING PRETTY FUCKING SICK OF IT. EB: that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard. CG: WELL IT'S NOT LIKE I MAPPED OUT THIS TROLLING ONSLAUGHT VERY WELL IN ADVANCE. CG: I MEAN, WHEN YOU TROLL SOMEONE YOU JUST SORT OF DO IT. YOU DON'T START DRAWING FLOWCHARTS AND DIAGRAMS AND STUFF. EB: wait... EB: you have something to do with this game, don't you? EB: i should have known. CG: OH GOD. CG: NOT AGAIN. CG: NO, FUCK NO, I AM JUST NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU AGAIN. CG: YOU'LL GET PLENTY OF DIRT ON ALL THIS FROM ME IN FUTURE CONVERSATIONS. CG: TEDIOUS CONVERSATIONS. CG: ONES I'VE ALREADY HAD WITH YOU. CG: WHERE YOUR DEMEANOR WILL GRADUALLY BECOME INEXPLICABLY AND REVOLTINGLY FRIENDLY TOWARDS US. CG: AND SO I GUESS IT JUST WAS KIND OF INFECTIOUS AND NOW WE'RE ALL BUDDIES I THINK. CG: IT'S REALLY WEIRD. CG: THIS HUMAN EMOTION YOU CALL FRIENDSHIP. EB: friendship isn't an emotion fucknuts. CG: SEE, THAT IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. CG: YOU'RE MUCH MORE TOLERABLE A GUY THAN I THOUGHT AT FIRST, OK JOHN? EB: why are you kissing my ass? EB: what do you want? why don't you just tell me what's going on. EB: are you in the medium? CG: OK, FINE. YES WE ARE. EB: like, here in this land, with the clouds and oil and stuff? CG: MORE OF THIS NARCISSISM. CG: YOU ALWAYS THINK EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND YOU. CG: WE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR DUMB LITTLE WINDY PLANET OR YOUR PETTY LITTLE QUESTS. CG: OR FOR THAT MATTER YOUR ENTIRE GAME SESSION. CG: YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONES PLAYING THE GAME. CG: EVERY GROUP OF PLAYERS GETS THEIR OWN DISTINCT, BLANK SLATE SESSION. CG: AS WILL BE EXPLAINED TO YOU MANY TIMES. EB: so why don't you just explain it again so i know... EB: so i don't ask so much in the future??? CG: NO. CG: FUCK THIS SHIT, JUST NO. CG: I'M ENDING THIS CONVERSATION BECAUSE I'VE SAID IT ALL TOO MANY TIMES. CG: AND BECAUSE YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND. CG: BECAUSE YOU ARE DUMB. EB: wow, yeah you're totally not trolling me, bro! EB: i see now we are bffs forever. CG: THE FACT THAT YOU ARE DUMB CG: IS AN IMMUTABLE FACT I AM STATING FOR THE RECORD. CG: IT DOES NOT MEAN ANIMOSITY IS WHAT IS TAKING PLACE HERE. EB: oh, ok. EB: so what do you want. CG: I NEED YOU TO TELL YOUR FRIEND JADE TO TALK TO US. CG: SHE WON'T ANSWER OUR MESSAGES IN THIS TIMEFRAME. CG: IT'S IMPORTANT. EB: yeah, i don't blame her for not answering. EB: she pretty much can't stand you guys. EB: because of all the trolling you did before. EB: remember? CG: OK, OUR BAD ON THAT. CG: JUST TELL HER WE'RE SORRY. CG: AND TO GET HER GROSS AND TOTALLY UNATTRACTIVE HUMAN BUTT OFF HER UGLY HUMAN HIGH HORSE AND ANSWER MY MESSAGES. EB: maybe. EB: we'll see. EB: i'm still not really sold on this friendship thing yet. EB: but i've got to go now and get on with my petty little quests. EB: so talk to you in the future i guess. EB: jerkface.