carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --
CG: JOHN WHAT THE WET BAG OF HUMAN HORSE SHIT TO THE FACE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING. CG: OH MY LORD. CG: NO WONDER YOU LOSERS ALL FUCK UP THIS GAME SO BAD. EB: what? EB: i am just acting out a scene from an awesome movie and having some fun, what's wrong with that? CG: WHAT KIND OF CRAPPY EARTH MOVIE IS THIS. CG: STUPID RABBIT ASSHOLE SCREWS THE POOCH? EB: no, it's about these criminals on a runaway plane, and they've got to be stopped by nick cage and john cusack together as a team. CG: OH. CG: OK, THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD I GUESS. EB: it is sweet, so sweet, you would probably like it. CG: I'VE HEARD OF JOHN CUSACK I THINK. CG: WASN'T HE IN SERENDIPITY? CG: THAT WAS PRETTY GREAT FOR A HUMAN FLICK. EB: hahaha, oh man, that sucked so bad! CG: OK I DON'T SEE HOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BECOMING FRIENDS IF YOU RECOIL FROM MY OLIVE BRANCH LIKE I'M WIGGLING A GNARLED TREE MONSTER'S DICK IN YOUR DIRECTION. EB: don't you have alien movies from your alien planet? CG: YEAH OF COURSE, WE HAVE TONS OF MOVIES AND THEY ARE INFINITELY SUPERIOR TO YOUR PRIMITIVE CINEMATIC NEANDERTHRASHINGS. EB: ok, so what is a really good one? CG: YOU'LL PROBABLY LAUGH IF I TELL YOU THE NAME OF ONE. EB: well, i already laughed when you said the name of one of ours, so who cares? CG: OK FINE. CG: ONE THAT IS AMAZING AND IS A CLASSIC IS... CG: WHEREIN NUMEROUS VIGILANTES CONFRONT PERIL; ONE OF THEM BETRAYS THE OTHERS; (BUT IT TURNS OUT TO BE PART OF THE PLAN ALL ALONG); CG: SEVERAL ATTRACTIVE FEMALE LEADS PROVOKE ROMANTIC TENSION; FOUR MAJOR CHARACTERS WEAR UNUSUAL HATS; ONE HOLDS PLOT-CRITICAL SECRET; CG: 47 ON-SCREEN EXPLOSIONS, ONE RESULTING IN DEMISE OF KEY-ADVERSARY; 6 to 20 LINES THAT COULD BE CONSTRUED AS HUMOROUS; EB: wait... EB: this is the title? CG: IT GOES ON. CG: THEY TEND TO BE MORE LITERAL AND INFORMATIVE THAN YOUR TITLES. EB: how do you even say them in casual conversation? CG: WELL WE DON'T OBVIOUSLY. CG: IT'S LIKE SOMEONE SAYS, HEY GUYS WHY DON'T WE GO SEE A MOVIE, AND THEN EVERYONE JUST ENDS UP THERE. CG: WATCHING IT. CG: NOT SAYING IT, THAT'S DUMB. CG: JOHN, TRY TO THINK OUTSIDE YOUR MINUSCULE CULTURAL BUBBLE FOR A CHANGE. EB: ok, i just think it's still cumbersome and completely illogical. CG: YEAH THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU START RUNNING OUT OF MOVIE TITLES AFTER RACKING UP THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF FILM HISTORY. CG: YOU KNOW I THINK YOUR CIVILIZATION JUST DIDN'T MATURE ENOUGH OR SOMETHING. CG: BEFORE LETTING THIS EARTH ARABIAN YOU CALL A GENIE OUT OF THE BOTTLE. CG: MUST EXPLAIN WHY IT SPROUTED SUCH A MISERABLE CROP OF PLAYERS. CG: INSTEAD OF BASICALLY GODS LIKE US. EB: well, i've got one of your godly players helping me now, so we can't be in such bad shape. CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. EB: GC gave me a map. EB: and showed me a shortcut. CG: WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING. CG: THIS ISN'T WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT DOING AT ALL. CG: HOLD ON LET ME ASK HER ABOUT THIS... EB: ok. CG: OK... CG: NOW SHES JUST OVER THERE GIGGLING AT ME LIKE AN IMBECILE. CG: WHAT ARE YOU TWO UP TO, WHY ARE YOU IN CAHOOTS NOW? EB: umm... CG: OW FUCK!!! CG: OK SHE JUST WALKED OVER AND PUNCHED ME. CG: AND SAID IT WAS FROM YOU. EB: uh, sorry i guess? CG: I TOLD HER TO STOP THESE SHENANIGANS... CG: BUT IT SEEMS LIKE WHATEVER SHE WAS DOING WITH YOU SHE ALREADY DID A WHILE AGO. CG: FROM MY PERSPECTIVE AT LEAST. EB: i don't know why you guys are doing this to yourselves. EB: all this time jackassery, it's giving me a headache. CG: OK IF YOU TALK TO HER AGAIN WHEN SHE TRIES HATCHING MORE PLANS GIVE HER A MESSAGE INTO THE PAST FOR ME. EB: ok. CG: TELL HER TO POLISH MY HEAVING BONE BULGE AND SET A TABLE FOR FUCKING TWO ON IT. CG: ITS FOR OUR CANDLE LIGHT HATE DATE. EB: i like how you guys have basically resorted to trolling each other, through us. CG: FUCK YOU. EB: oh, did you talk to jade yet? CG: JADE, WHAT WHY WOULD I WANT TO TALK TO HER? EB: ummm, that's what you said you wanted to do last time you talked to me, i dunno. CG: OH DAMMIT. CG: ARE YOU SURE? EB: yeah, you told me dude. EB: want me to paste the conversation? CG: NO NO, GOD NO, I HATE IT WHEN WE START GOING DOWN THAT ROAD. CG: OK THIS IS GOING TO REQUIRE FURTHER INVESTIGATION. CG: I'VE GOT TO GO. EB: ok. EB: but next time you talk to me, you might want to tell me to calm down first so i don't just block you. EB: back then i won't really want to hear from you. CG: OK, I'LL DO THAT. EB: later.