CG: I KEEP SCROLLING BACKWARDS THROUGH YOUR ADVENTURE. CG: TRYING TO PIECE TOGETHER HOW YOU BOTCH THIS UP SO BADLY. CG: AND I KEEP FINDING THESE STRIKING POCKETS OF FOOLISHNESS. CG: LIKE WHAT YOU'RE DOING NOW. CG: RIDING YOUR LITTLE RED ROCKET. CG: LIKE YOU ARE A FRESHLY HATCHED HUMAN LARVA AND THIS IS JUST ALL A BIG SCHOOLHIVE RUMPUS RESPITE. EB: humans aren't hatched as larvae dummy. EB: we don't hatch at all. EB: we are born as these like little pink monkeys called babies. CG: BULLSHIT. CG: THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU JUST TOLD ME. EB: what did i say? CG: I'LL PASTE WHAT YOU SAID. EB: i thought you didn't like going down that road? EB: copy-pasting future/past conversations... CG: WHY WOULD I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT. EB: i dunno, that's what you just told me. CG: WHATEVER, LOOK: CG: EB: this is really weird... CG: CG: WHAT'S SO WEIRD ABOUT IT. CG: EB: well, normally humans hatch... CG: EB: from like these slimy pods. CG: EB: then we wriggle out as a little pink larva. CG: CG: OH REALLY. CG: CG: HUH, MAYBE WE HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN I THOUGHT. EB: hahaha! EB: i was punking you dude! EB: or at least i will be in our next conversation. EB: thanks for the great prank idea. CG: ARGH. CG: WHY WOULD YOU TRICK ME ABOUT THAT, WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT. EB: i don't know, it was just a friendly prank. EB: don't you ever play pranks? EB: i mean, of course you do, one of you just tried to prank me good. CG: WHAT, WHO. EB: pffffff, you'll find out. CG: WELL FINE. CG: I GUESS YOU GOT ME BACK, SORT OF. CG: FOR MY TROLLING, EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T EVEN READ MY WORST TROLLING EFFORTS YET. CG: BECAUSE THEY HAPPEN IN YOUR FUTURE. CG: AND EVEN THEN YOU DIDN'T EVEN MIND MUCH, ALMOST LIKE YOU WERE DELIGHTED TO HEAR IT. CG: KIND OF PERVERSE REALLY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? EB: well, we're friends by then, aren't we? EB: or sort of like, uh, reverse anti-mutual friends. CG: WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. EB: look, you're going to have to face it at some point... EB: that you're learning the meaning of this human emotion called friendship. CG: IS FRIENDSHIP REALLY AN EMOTION? EB: yes, absolutely. CG: I GUESS IT'S HARD TO SEE HOW WE BECOME FRIENDS. CG: THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING. CG: EVERY TIME I GO FURTHER BACK INTO YOUR PAST AND TALK TO YOU, YOU SAY STUFF THAT PERTAINS TO MY IMMEDIATE FUTURE. CG: AND THEN YOU WON'T EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT'S GOING ON, BECAUSE IT'S ALREADY OLD NEWS FOR YOU. EB: dude, you've been doing the same exact thing!!! CG: I'VE DONE NO SUCH THING. CG: I'VE BEEN EXCEPTIONALLY INFORMATIVE AND HELPFUL. CG: IF JUSTIFIABLY ACRIMONIOUS. EB: you never answer my questions, though. EB: how am i supposed to know what's going on, or what you're alluding to? CG: THIS GAME IS KIND OF A GAME OF A MILLION GUIDES. CG: EVERYWHERE YOU TURN THERE'S ANOTHER WAY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON, SO PLEASE, GO SECRETE ME AN EARTH RIVER THROUGH YOUR STRANGE HUMAN TEAR DUCTS. CG: YOU'VE GOT SPRITES, EXILES, GUARDIANS, CONSORTS... CG: TIME HOPPING FUTURE SELVES, MYSTICAL DREAM ORACLE DOPPELGANGERS... CG: AND IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, YOUR PARTICULAR GROUP OF PLAYERS IS LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE US TO GIVE YOU THE SCOOP ON STUFF. CG: THROUGH A SORT OF SUBVERSION OF THE WHOLE DAMN THING. CG: EVEN THOUGH WE HATE YOU. CG: AND EVEN THOUGH THE FACT THAT WE HATE YOU CG: IS AN IMMUTABLE FACT AS UNALTERABLE AS THIS WRITHING KNOTTED HELL OF A TIMELINE CHOKING US ALL TO DEATH CG: IT DOES NOT MEAN WE HAVE ANY REASON TO WITHHOLD ANY INFORMATION FROM YOU CG: OR DISH IT OUT THROUGH CRYPTOBAFFLING MIND FUDDLERY. CG: SO GO AHEAD, ASK ME ANYTHING. EB: ok... EB: what's the point of the game. CG: ASK SOMETHING ELSE. CG: ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT. CG: IT WAS THIS WHOLE BIG CONVERSATION WE HAD. EB: augh! EB: fine. EB: where are you now? CG: IN THE MEDIUM. CG: A SEPARATE SESSION FROM YOURS. EB: no no, i know that! EB: you already told me. CG: I DID? EB: yes, in your future. CG: DAMMIT. EB: what i mean is... EB: are you in your house right now, or in one of your magical lands, or what? EB: just curious cause you can see me, but i can't see or know anything about you! CG: WE'RE HIDING IN THE VEIL. CG: WHAT'S LEFT OF IT. EB: what's that? CG: IT'S A HUGE BELT OF METEORS CG: ORBITING WAY OUTSIDE SKAIA, BEYOND THE ORBIT OF THE PLANETS CG: DIVIDING THE MEDIUM FROM THE FURTHEST RING CG: WHERE DERSE ORBITS. EB: derse? CG: THE DARK PLANET. CG: PROSPIT'S THE LIGHT ONE NEAR SKAIA. EB: well jeez, how am i supposed to know any of this?? CG: YOU'D PROBABLY FIND OUT SOONER OR LATER FROM YOUR DUMB GRANDMA. CG: BUT BY FUSING WITH THE SPRITE SHE HAS TO WITHHOLD STUFF AND BE MYSTERIOUS AND ALL. CG: TO MAKE YOUR ADVENTURE SEEM MORE "MAAAAAAGICAL!!!!" CG: IT'S INFURIATING. EB: ok, so the veil is a bunch of meteors... EB: what do you mean "what's left of it"? CG: OK, THERE COMES A TIME WHEN BLACK INEVITABLY BEATS WHITE CG: ON THE BATTLEFIELD IN THE CENTER OF SKAIA CG: THE WHITE KING IS CAPTURED OR KILLED OR SOMETHING CG: THAT'S WHEN THE RECKONING STARTS. EB: ok... CG: THE RULERS OF DERSE CG: THE BLACK KING AND QUEEN CG: GET THE POWER TO SEND THE VEIL TOWARD SKAIA CG: TO DESTROY IT CG: THAT KIND OF STARTS YOUR BIG "COUNTDOWN" CG: WHEN SHIT GETS SERIOUS. EB: so then it's up to us to save it? CG: YEAH, YOU HAVE THAT LONG TO KILL THE BLACK QUEEN AND KING CG: AND SKAIA ITSELF SORT OF BUYS YOU SOME TIME CG: BY ACTIVATING ITS DEFENSE PORTALS CG: TO CATCH SOME OF THE METEORS CG: THE THREAT GETS BIGGER THE LONGER YOU TAKE THOUGH CG: SMALLER METEORS COME FIRST AND THEY GET PROGRESSIVELY BIGGER AND BIGGER CG: AND THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH OF THEM SKAIA CAN ABSORB FOR YOU. EB: ok, but it sounds like we've got plenty of time before that happens, right? CG: THAT'S JUST IT. CG: YOU DON'T. CG: ORDINARILY YOU WOULD BUT CG: YOUR RECKONING STARTS MUCH SOONER CG: BECAUSE OF SOME DUMB THINGS YOU'VE DONE CG: YOU COMPLETELY BLEW IT ALREADY AND YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF WINNING ANYMORE CG: WHICH ORDINARILY WOULD BE FINE CG: JUST ANOTHER BUNCH OF LOSERS TO FAIL AT THIS GAME CG: IT'S WHAT YOU DO LATER THAT CAUSES SO MUCH MORE TROUBLE THAN THAT CG: AND NOW WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT TOO. EB: oh no... EB: what is it? CG: ALREADY TOLD YOU. CG: IT'S INEVITABLE AND COMPLETELY POINTLESS TO TALK ABOUT ANYWAY. EB: yeah, well... EB: maybe you're wrong! EB: maybe there's something we can still do to stop it, if you just help us? CG: I'M NOT WRONG, IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF ME, YOU FUCK UP ROYALLY, END OF STORY. EB: ok, we'll see about that, mr. sourbulge. EB: hey, aren't you kind of uncomfortable sitting on a meteor? EB: are you all huddled in a crater or something? CG: NO, THERE'S ALL KINDS OF CRAZY SHIT IN THE VEIL. CG: A LOT OF THESE METEORS ARE KIND OF LIKE... CG: BIG SEEDS. EB: seeds? EB: um... EB: well, what kind of crazy shit is there? CG: STUFF LIKE... CG: BUILDINGS CG: FACILITIES CG: LIKE LABS AND STUFF. EB: weird. CG: YEAH, THE VEIL IS KIND OF LIKE NEUTRAL GROUND FOR THE KINGDOMS, LIKE OUR PLANETS. CG: SOME PLACES ARE USED TO GENETICALLY ENGINEER SOLDIERS AND AGENTS FOR THE TWO SIDES. CG: USING GENETIC MATERIAL FROM THE EXOTIC MENAGERIE OF CHESS PIECES ON THE BATTLEFIELD. CG: TO HELP FUEL THE WAR AND KEEP RAISING THE STAKES. EB: wow, i don't think i'm following this. CG: YEAH NO SHIT! CG: BUT YOU'LL FIND OUT WHEN YOU GET THERE CG: SINCE YOU WERE IN THE VEIL WHEN WE LAST TALKED. CG: ANYWAY THAT'S MORE THAN ENOUGH INFO FOR YOU TO THINK ABOUT AND BE LESS STUPID IN TIME FOR CONVERSATIONS WE'VE ALREADY HAD. CG: I'M OUT OF HERE. EB: ok, but wait... EB: can you give a message to GC for me? EB: tell her nice try. CG: WHAT CG: WHY WOULD I GIVE HER A MESSAGE FOR YOU CG: DO IT YOURSELF, I'M NOT A RELAY SERVICE. EB: oh, well i thought you'd be cool with it since you asked me to give her a message for you last time. EB: but whatever. CG: I FIND THAT HIGHLY IMPLAUSIBLE. CG: I'M NOT FALLING FOR ANY MORE OF YOUR HUMAN PRANKS. CG: "NICE TRY" JOHN CG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.