CG: OK IT'S A FEW MINUTES LATER. CG: LOOK HOW SANE AND LINEAR WE ARE BEING. EB: yeah! CG: OK AWESOME, NOW FUCK YOU AND GOODBYE. EB: wait! CG: WHAT. EB: i was just looking at all these rascals, and i was wondering... EB: how they go back in time and become us and stuff. EB: does it have something to do with the reckoning? CG: HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT. EB: you told me. EB: we had this great dare going. EB: to see who could be the least helpful and informative. EB: and you totally lost, dude! EB: you were hella helpful. CG: I WAS OBVIOUSLY JUST SPITING YOUR STUPID POINTLESS HUMAN DARE. CG: WHAT IS A DARE ANYWAY, IT'S NOTHING. CG: SOMEONE SAYS DO SOMETHING AND THEN, OH LAUGH LAUGH, YOU LOSE IF YOU DON'T DO IT. CG: THAT ISN'T ANYTHING THAT DESERVES A WORD. CG: WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A WORD FOR DARE IN OUR LANGUAGE. CG: THE CLOSEST APPROXIMATION WOULD BE "WORTHLESS FUCKING BULLSHIT WASTE OF TIME FOR SILLY LITTLE CHILDREN" EB: oh, wow. EB: is that the title of a movie too? CG: YES, IT'S THE TITLE OF EVERY DUMB MOVIE YOU EVER LIKED. EB: ha ha, that isn't even true and doesn't make sense! CG: ANYWAY, HOW COULD WE HAVE MADE A DARE IF I'M MOVING BACKWARDS ON YOUR TIMELINE. CG: YOU WOULD DARE ME TO DO SOMETHING, THEN I WOULD DO IT NEXT TIME, BUT THEN YOU WOULDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE DARE. CG: BECAUSE WE DIDN'T MAKE IT YET. CG: THAT'S WHAT ISN'T TRUE AND DOESN'T MAKE SENSE YOU DAMP BAG OF PUKE. EB: well yeah, the dare never happened, i was joking around and made that up to give you hard time. CG: YOU HAVE SOUNDING STUPID DOWN TO SUCH A SCIENCE. CG: WHERE IS YOUR LAB COAT AND TEST TUBES DOCTOR BRAIN PROFESSOR? EB: i am wearing a lab coat! EB: sort of... CG: YOU LOOK LIKE AN ELF. EB: that's bullshit! CG: YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SHOULD BE BLOWING INTO A FUNNY LITTLE SHELL, AND LIMBERING UP FOR A SILLY COOKIE DANCE. EB: do you even have elves? CG: YES, LET'S COMPARE WHICH FANTASY CREATURES THAT DON'T EXIST WE BOTH DO OR DON'T NOT HAVE. CG: WHAT A GREAT FUCKING IDEA, JOHN! EB: uh, what? CG: YOU ASKED ABOUT THE RECKONING, SO WHY DON'T WE TALK ABOUT THAT INSTEAD OF ALL THESE PRETTY MUCH TERRIBLE THINGS. EB: ok. CG: YEAH, SO WHEN THE RECKONING STARTS HAPPENING, ALL THESE PARADOX CLONES GET SHIPPED OFF TO METEORS, FLUNG THROUGH SKAIAN DEFENSE PORTALS, AND SENT BACK TO EARTH. CG: END OF STORY I GUESS. CG: BYE. EB: wait!!! EB: so that means... EB: we are all sort of like superman? CG: UH YEAH, I GUESS. EB: cool! CG: YOU ALL TRACE THE MYTHOLOGICAL FOOTSTEPS OF YOUR BELOVED HUMAN SUPERMAN WHO'S REALLY JUST A MUSCULAR CAUCASIAN ALIEN. CG: IT'S HILARIOUS HOW HUMANS WORSHIP HIM AS A PINNACLE OF HUMAN HEROISM AND VIRTUE BUT HE ISN'T EVEN HUMAN. CG: ACTUALLY IT'S INCREDIBLY PATHETIC. CG: BUT ALSO IN A WAY KIND OF ADMIRABLE. CG: BECAUSE IT MEANS DEEP DOWN YOU ALL MUST REALIZE WHO YOUR DADDY IS. CG: WE ARE, BITCHES. EB: yeah, superman is pretty cool, i guess. EB: did you know nicolas cage was almost going to play superman one time? CG: OH MY THROBBING PHLEGM LOBE, WHO GIVES A BARFING FUCK ABOUT THAT. CG: JOHN EGBERT, YOU HAVE ASSASSINATED MY PATIENCE. CG: ADIOS LOSER. EB: wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EB: get back to me in a couple minutes, ok? CG: SD;LKFJSD;LKFJSDLFKJ; CG: FINE.