Karkat: Answer troll.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TA: KK dont fliip your 2hiit about thii2 but iim 2ettiing you up two play a game wiith 2ome people.
CG: WHY WOULD I FLIP MY SHIT ABOUT THAT.
TA: becau2e you fliip your 2hiit about everythiing.
CG: WELL WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS.
CG: HERE IS MY SHIT, AND YET IT REMAINS UNFLIPPED.
CG: JUST SITTING THERE ON THE SKILLET, GETTING BURNED ON ONE SIDE.
CG: IT'S A MIRACLE.
TA: oh no are you iinto miiracle2 now two becau2e iif you are youre fiired preemptiively from the game.
CG: FUCK NO.
TA: ok niice.
CG: MIRACLES ARE LIKE POOP STAINS ON GOD'S UNDERWEAR.
TA: eheheh makiing fun of people2 reliigiion2 i2 the be2t thiing two do.
CG: THAT'S WHY HE HIDES THEM, THEY'RE FUCKING EMBARRASSING.
CG: GOD LAUNDERS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.
TA: eheheheheh riight on but let2 2hut our mouth2 a 2econd and talk about thii2 game.
TA: iitll only be a 2econd really you dont have two do two much.
CG: OK, GOOD, BECAUSE I'M PRETTY BUSY TONIGHT.
CG: WHAT IS THIS THING ANYWAY, WHY ALL THE SECRECY.
TA: well the 2hort 2tory ii2 that iit2 an iimmer2iive 2iimulatiion that you play wiith a group.
TA: the long 2tory ii2 that the fate of our ciiviiliizatiion depend2 on u2 playiing iit.
TA: heh ii gue22 the long one wa2 2horter than the 2hort one FUCK.
CG: THAT SOUNDS LIKE MELODRAMATIC BULLSHIT BUT COMING FROM YOU COLOR ME UNSURPRISED.
TA: 2crew you vanta2 thii2 2hiit2 more real than kraft grub2auce.
CG: RIGHT OK.
CG: SO YOU MADE THIS GAME?
TA: no no.
TA: more liike ii adapted iit.
CG: FROM WHAT.
TA: 2ome crazy technology AA dug out of 2ome ruiin2.
TA: havent you talked two her about iit?
CG: MAN, NO.
CG: I CAN'T TALK TO HER, SHE'S SO SPOOKY.
CG: I DON'T KNOW WHY MOST OF OUR FRIENDS ARE SUCH PSYCHOS.
TA: probably iit2 becau2e mo2t troll2 are.
TA: iif you heard what ii heard every niight ii mean WOW FUCK.
CG: NO LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR WEIRD MUTANT BRAIN.
CG: AND DON'T SCAN MINE OR WHATEVER, IT'S OFF LIMITS YOU DOUCHE.
TA: ii told you liike a biilliion tiime2 ii cant do that you nub2lurping fuckpod.
CG: WHY ARE YOU TWO UP TO THIS SECRET STUFF.
CG: WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD ME ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?
TA: KK iim 2orry but really iit2 kiind of a priivate matter between me and her and iid appreciiate iit iif that wa2 re2pected.
CG: OH GOD.
CG: STOP BEING SO SENSITIVE.
CG: IT'S A REPUGNANT QUALITY.
TA: ok how about you take your own adviice you are 2uch a blubberiing hypocriite.
TA: youre lucky iim 2o fuckiing magnaniimou2 and chariitable cau2e otherwii2e there2 no chance iid wa2te my tiime on you.
CG: WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT, THIS ACT THAT YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOU'RE A HOTSHOT, YOU KNOW YOU HATE YOURSELF.
TA: nobody hate2 hiim2elf more than you iidiiot.
CG: YEAH WELL I HATE YOU WAY MORE THAN I HATE MYSELF, AND THAT'S FUCKING SAYING SOMETHING.
CG: IN FACT I HATE YOU MORE THAN I HATE MYSELF AND YOU HATE YOURSELF AND YOU HATE ME COMBINED.
TA: oh fuck that noii2e iin every leakiing oriifiice iit2 got you know ii hate the combiined product of you and my2elf more than you could ever begiin two hate me and my2elf and you and your2elf on your wor2t day 2o FUCKIING DEAL WIITH IIT.
CG: OK, TIME OUT FOR THE IDIOT.
CG: THE IDIOT GETS A TIME OUT AND SHUTS UP FOR A SECOND.
CG: THAT'S YOU.
CG: JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO ABOUT THIS GAME.
TA: ok well iill 2end you a download 2oon.
TA: iim 2ett1ng up two team2.
TA: liike two 2eparate competiing team2 2o that there2 a better chance of at lea2t one group wiinniing.
TA: and al2o ii gue22 two 2ee which one can wiin fa2ter.
CG: OK LET ME GUESS.
CG: THERE'S A RED TEAM AND BLUE TEAM, RIGHT?
TA: yeah.
TA: youre on the red team.
TA: ii wiill be the leader of the blue.
CG: OK, THEN I GUESS I CAN PICK MY TEAMMATES THEN?
TA: uh...
TA: bro youre not the red team leader.
TA: ii piicked GC for that.
CG: WHAT????????????????????
TA: dude ii diid NOT thiink youd be iintere2ted iin thii2 dont act all offended.
CG: OH WOW NOW I SEE.
CG: REALLY FUCKING CLEVER, PICKING THE BLIND GIRL TO LEAD THE TEAM YOUR COMPETING WITH.
CG: I KNEW YOU WERE CHEATER LOWLIFE FUCKING SCUMBAG WITH NO SCRUPLES OR SELF ESTEEM AND WERE BASICALLY WORTHLESS ON EVERY LEVEL, BUT SOMEHOW I'M STILL DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.
TA: yeah ii am 2uch an iidiiot for not rewardiing your bubbly per2onaliity and iimpeccable people 2kiill2 wiith a leader2hiip giig.
TA: what an iincon2iiderate knuckle2ponged a22hole ii have been.
CG: I AM A HATCHED LEADER AND YOU KNOW IT.
TA: ii know your fiilthy 2eedflap ii2 flutteriing iin the profane breeze that2 2hootiing out your 2tiinkiing meal tunnel.
TA: ii do know that much.
CG: HOW DO YOU GET OUT OF YOUR COCOON IN THE MORNING KNOWING YOU'RE THE WORST THING A UNIVERSE WAS EVER RESPONSIBLE FOR?
CG: ALSO IT MUST BE HARD WITH YOUR HANDS TO PERSISTENTLY BOTHERING EVERY MUTATED SET OF GENITALS PEPPERING THAT GHASTLY HUSK YOU PAWN OFF AS A BODY.
CG: HAS A FEMALE EVER LOOKED AT YOU WITHOUT AT ONCE TURNING SKYWARD AND ERUPTING LIKE A VOMIT VOLCANO, ANSWER ME THAT.
TA: thii2 ii2 2o iimmature, iim ba2iically ju2t laughiing here at how iimmature you are.
TA: liike ii really giive a fuck who the red leader ii2.
TA: you want two be the leader fiine talk two GC about iit.
CG: I GUESS THESE CONVERSATIONS WE HAVE DO GET KIND OF EMBARRASSING IN RETROSPECT.
CG: ARE WE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE BECAUSE OF STUFF I SAID.
TA: eheheheh you LIITERALLY a2k me that every tiime are you jokiing.
TA: ii cant even tell anymore.
CG: IT'S A JOKE MORON.
CG: HONESTLY I'M JUST GLAD NOBODY ELSE IS PRIVVY TO OUR CONVERSATIONS.
CG: ACTUALLY WHY DON'T WE MAKE A PACT TO DELETE THIS ONE FROM OUR LOGS, I'M JUST SHUDDERING HERE SCROLLING UP AND READING THIS.
TA: yeah ok.

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