Karkat: Begin another memo.



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CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board TEAM ADORABLOODTHIRSTY.

CCG: THIS IS AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY TO START A NEW MEMO.
CCG: IN FACT IT'S A BETTER TIME THAN ANY BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THE LAWS OF CHAT CLIENT PREDESTINATION I DON'T REALLY HAVE A CHOICE DO I.
CCG: FUCK.
CCG: IT DOESN'T MATTER, IT'S STILL A GOOD TIME TO DO IT.
CCG: PEOPLE, WE NEED TO GET ORGANIZED HERE.
CCG: SHIT IS GETTING SERIOUS.
CCG: WE ARE ABOUT TO EMBARK ON OPERATION REGISURP, A CUNNING PLAN DEVISED BY DOUBLE ARCHAGENT JACK NOIR TO EXILE THE BLACK QUEEN.
CCG: WE WILL NEED ALL HANDS ON DECK FOR THIS, EVEN THE IDIOTS.
CCG: AND ONCE AGAIN, A REMINDER
CCG: DO NOT TROLL ME IN THESE MEMOS FROM ANY POINT IN TIME OR IT'S AN INSTA-BAN.
CCG: ALSO A NOTE TO MY FUTURE SELF
CCG: IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SAY SOMETHING SMUG, DO ME A FAVOR AND SHOVE A THROB STALK IN IT.
CCG: JUST SIT THERE PATIENTLY AND WAIT FOR ME TO BECOME YOU IN THE DUE COURSE OF TIME, THUS IMPROVING YOUR INTELLECT DRASTICALLY.
CCG: OR, INTELLECTS PLURAL.
CCG: I FORGOT, THERE ARE A LOT OF YOU FUCKERS OUT THERE.
CCG: ALL OF YOU, JUST ZIP YOUR CHUTES. I MEAN SERIOUSLY, LIKE THERE'S NOTHING BETTER TO DO IN THE FUTURE???
CCG: IT'S THE FUTURE FOR GOD'S SAKE, A REALM OF ENDLESS FUCKING POSSIBILITIES.
CCG: NOW
CCG: BEFORE WE GET STARTED, LET'S TAKE A TOLL OF THE SITUATION AT THIS POINT IN TIME.
CCG: *MY* POINT IN TIME.
CCG: WHO'S IN SO FAR, WHO'S NOT, ETCETERA.
FUTURE caligulasAquarium [FCA] 3:11 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCA: hey sorry for bustin in on the memo but i cant get ahold of you youre not answwerin
CCG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
FCA: gams advvice is fuckin useless all he told me wwas to enjoy a bevverage
CCG: NO, DUDE, DON'T DRINK THAT SHIT. IF IT WERE UP TO HIM WE WOULD ALL DRINK FAYGO AT ONCE IN SOME RITUALISTIC RAP CLOWN SUICIDE PACT.
CCG: BUT INSTEAD OF COMMITTING SUICIDE THE THING THAT WE ALL ACCOMPLISH IS BECOMING INSTANTANEOUS ASSHOLES WITH AWFUL TASTE.
FCA: i mean
FCA: its not evven that bad
FCA: its just soda but wwhatevver this isnt the point
CCG: THIS ISN'T THE VENUE FOR AIRING YOUR FUTURE PROBLEMS, COUNT SEA DIPSHIT.
FCA: i knoww i knoww
FCA: its just
FCA: i got a problem
FCA: wwith feferi
FCA: and im really kinda sittin here in bad shape about it emotionally speakin
CCG: OK, WELL
CCG: I GET THAT, I HEAR YOU BRO
CCG: BUT THIS IS STILL NOT THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS SO I'VE GOT TO BAN YOU.
CCG banned FCA from responding to memo.
CCG: BUT SERIOUSLY JUST GET IN TOUCH WITH ME IN PRIVATE ABOUT IT, OK MAN?
CCG: WE'LL GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHTENED OUT.
CCG: OK.
CCG: IS EVERYBODY GOOD?
CCG: JUST GONNA SIT HERE FOR A MINUTE, LOCAL TIME, AND SEE IF ANYONE ELSE HAS ANY SHIT THEY WANT TO SCRAPE OFF THEIR BULGE ON TO MY CLEAN NUTRITION PLATEAU.
CCG: NOBODY?
CCG: GREAT, WONDERFUL.
CCG: I NOW OFFICIALLY DECLARE THE NONSENSE PORTION OF THIS MEMO TO BE OVER.
CCG: THIS DECREE SHALL BE BINDING AND LASTING.
CCG: BACK TO PLANNING REGISURP.
CCG: BEAR DOWN EVERYBODY, THIS IS FUCKING IMPORTANT, THERE IS A QUEEN ON THE LOOSE AND WE'VE GOT TO SHOW A BITCH THE DOOR.
FUTURE arachnidsGrip [FAG] 609 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FAG: ::::D
CCG: UN BE FUCKING LIEVABLE.
FAG: Kaaaaaaaarkat!
FAG: I'm sorry!
FAG: 8ut do you have any idea how funny this thing is? I mean this whole thing???????? I can't stop laughing!
CCG: HEY CAN FUTURE YOU MIND-PREVENT ME FROM HITTING THE BAN BUTTON?
CCG: I'M GENUINELY CURIOUS! GO AHEAD, TRY TO STOP ME I DARE YOU.
FAG: I'm not going to try, I'm just here to say this whole thing is ridiculous.
FAG: We didn't really need you to pretend to 8e a little angry general to get any of this done.
FAG: We kicked the queen out of there no sweat! It was easy. In fact, I did most of the work myself, right 8efore I found all the treasure and scaled all the rungs.
CCG: OH, ALL OF THEM YOU SAY?
CCG: FASCINATING.
CCG: HEY FORGET THE BAN BUTTON, USE YOUR MIND POWERS TO HELP ME LOCATE THE DESPERATELY ATTEMPT TO GIVE A SHIT BUTTON. WHOOPS WE BOTH FAILED, IT DOESN'T EXIST.
FAG: Hey, I'm gone. I just think you should relax.
FAG: You were wound up so tight through the whole adventure, and now here in the present you're a8out to explode. It's insuffera8le!
CCG: EVERYBODY, DID YOU HEAR THAT?? SUPERFUTURE VRISKA HAS AN IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON FOR US ALL.
CCG: WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT OUR PRESENT RESPONSIBILIES AND OBLIGATIONS!
CCG: BECAUSE AS IT TURNS OUT, IN THE FUTURE ALL THAT STUFF ALREADY HAPPENED. WE'RE OFF THE FUCKING HOOK!
CCG: TIME TO RELAX. LET'S ALL CRAWL INTO OUR COCOONS AND GET BUSY STIMULATING OUR AUTOEROGENOUS SHAME GLOBES.
CCG: FIRST ONE TO START A WANK FIRE GETS A SHINY BOONDOLLAR.
CCG: THIS IS AN ORDER FROM YOUR LEADER.
FAG: Hahahahahahahaha.
CCG banned FAG from responding to memo.
CCG: LATER, FAG.
CCG: TOO BAD THE ACRONYM WASN'T "HAG" INSTEAD, IT WOULD HAVE SUITED YOU MUCH BETTER.
CCG: INSTEAD OF THAT NONSENSE WORD
CCG: MAYBE ITS ASSOCIATION WITH YOU WILL COLLOQUIALLY CAUSE IT TO TAKE ON A NEGATIVE CONNOTATION, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
CCG: MAYBE FAG WILL BE "THE NEW BURN!" EVEN THOUGH IT REALLY MEANS NOTHING IN OUR LANGUAGE.
CCG: I DON'T KNOW, THIS IS STUPID, FORGET IT
CCG: OK I'M RAMBLING HERE, I'M AWARE OF THAT.
CCG: FUTURE ME, DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE WEIGH IN ON THIS, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
CCG: IF I WERE FUTURE ME, WHICH I GUESS I AM, I WOULD READ THIS AND BE ALL OVER IT, LIKE DAMMIT KARKAT WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING.
CCG: GET TO THE POINT.
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 0:20 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG: YEAH PRETTY MUCH.
CCG banned FCG from responding to memo.
CCG: SO I'M SAYING IT TO MYSELF ALREADY HERE AND NOW, SO I WON'T HAVE TO LATER, GOT IT YOU TRENCHANT BACKBITING PRICKS?????
CCG: DAMN, I'M LOSING MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT.
CCG: MAYBE I'LL PICK IT UP AGAIN IN A FRESH MEMO LATER.
CCG: I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S RIGHT THOUGH, BECAUSE I VAGUELY REMEMBER THIS ONE BEING LONGER THAN THIS.
PAST adiosToreador [PAT] 0:38 HOURS AGO responded to memo.
PAT: hEYY,
CCG: OH SON OF A BITCH.
PAT: i THOUGHT,
PAT: sINCE IT LOOKS LIKE, yOU'RE SAYING YOU'RE OUT OF IMPORTANT MEMO STUFF TO SAY,
PAT: uHH,
PAT: mAYBE YOU COULD HELP ME, hERE,
PAT: sINCE i DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE NOW, bUT MAYBE HELP ME,
PAT: aBOUT A THING THAT HAS TO DO WITH A GIRL,
PAT: lIKE,
PAT: a ROMANCE THING, yOU MIGHT KNOW ABOUT,
CCG: YOU PEOPLE ARE IMBECILES.
CCG: ALL OF YOU.
CCG: I AM NOT POSTING THESE MEMOS TO COUNSEL YOU ON YOUR PAST AND FUTURE DATING PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CCG: WHY ARE YOU ALL SUCH BASKET CASES. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE.
PAT: sORRY,
CCG: SHOULD I BAN YOU? WHAT'S EVEN THE POINT ANYMORE! ONE OF YOU STOOGES WILL BE RIGHT ON THE LAST ONES HEELS WITH ANOTHER SOB STORY.
CCG: JUST
CCG: HURRY UP AND TELL ME WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS BRO.
PAT: oKAY,
PAT: i'M SORT OF, lYING ON vRISKA'S FLOOR RIGHT NOW,
PAT: lIKE, iN HER BLOCK,
PAT: lYING DOWN,
PAT: uHH, yOU KNOW, bECAUSE i CAN'T WALK,
CCG: OH NO SHIT REALLY???
CCG: YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN.
PAT: uH, yEAH, aNYWAY,
PAT: sHE TRIED TO KISS ME,
PAT: wELL, sHE DIDN'T TRY, sHE ACTUALLY DID,
PAT: aND THEN, kIND OF DROPPED ME,
PAT: aND ALSO WE ARE WEARING COSTUMES,
PAT: wOW, i'M NOT EXPLAINING THIS WELL,
CCG: THIS IS SO FUCKED UP, WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO.
PAT: aND NOW, tO MAKE IT,
PAT: uHHHHH,
PAT: a LOT WEIRDER,
PAT: tHERE IS AN ANGRY VOICE IN MY HEAD,
PAT: i DONT THINK IT'S rUFIO THIS TIME,
PAT: rUFIO'S NOT THAT ANGRY,
PAT: hE'S ALSO IMAGINARY,
PAT: lIKE, a FAKE MADE UP FRIEND,
PAT: yOU KNOW, lIKE,
PAT: tHE WAY FAIRIES ARE, }:(
CCG: GOD, ACTUALLY I REMEMBER READING THIS BULLSHIT.
CCG: OR SKIMMING IT AT LEAST.
CCG: HOW COULD I FORGET???
CCG: MORE LOONEYBLOCK THEATER, AND HERE I AM DRAWING THE CURTAINS FOR YOU GUYS LIKE A DOPE.
PAT: aNYWAY, i THINK VRISKA IS UPSET ABOUT IT, aND SHE'S NOT TALKING OR ANYTHING,
PAT: wHAT DO i DO,
CCG: OK WELL, I CAN ADVISE YOU AND STUFF
CCG: BUT YOU DO REALIZE THIS IS A PUBLIC BULLETIN.
CCG: WE SHOULD BE HAVING THIS CHAT IN PRIVATE.
CCG: EVERYONE CAN READ THIS, EVEN HER.
CCG: I MEAN FUCK, SHE WAS *JUST HERE* TALKING YOU DUMMY!
PAT: i KNOW, i READ THAT,
PAT: bUT,
PAT: tHAT'S FUTURE HER, wHICH,
PAT: dOESN'T SEEM SO BAD,
PAT: mAYBE FUTURE HER CAN READ THIS, aND,
PAT: i GUESS,
PAT: kNOW i'M SORRY ABOUT IT,
PAT: i DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT HER FEELINGS,
CCG: WELL, FINE, IF YOU WANT TO BROADCAST A TRANSTIMELINE APOLOGY THEN FINE.
CCG: BUT YOU SHOULD REALIZE THE FUTURE IS KIND OF A WIDE OPEN THING, I MEAN SHE COULD READ THIS LIKE TWO MINUTES IN THE FUTURE AS WELL AS 600 HOURS.
CCG: AT THAT POINT YOU WOULD ESSENTIALLY BE TALKING TO PRESENT HER, COMPLETELY DEFEATING THE PURPOSE OF YOUR SPINELESS MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE APOLOGY.
PAT: oH,
PAT: yEAH,
PAT: i DIDN'T, rEALLY THINK OF THAT,
PAST arachnidsGrip [PAG] 0:08 HOURS AGO responded to memo.
PAG: Hi.
CCG: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
PAG: Karkat, shut up! This does not concern you.
CCG: OK WHATEVER. MY MEMO, BUT WHATEVER.
PAT: uH, wOW,
PAT: hI,
PAG: Tavros, it's ok. Really.
PAG: So you don't feel that way a8out me! That's fine. I shouldn't have expected any different.
PAG: I can deal with it! I am not a wimp like you. I roll with 8ad 8r8ks all the time. No 8iggie.
PAG: In fact, I already have dealt with it. I was over here dealing with it while you were over there on the floor fooling around with your computer after a cute girl tried to kiss you for some reason.
PAG: As it turned out, fooling around with your computer to........
PAG: Go cry on future Karkat's shoulder a8out this????????
PAT: uM,
PAT: yEAH,
PAG: Hahahaha. You are a str8nge and funny 8oy, Tavros.
CCG: OH GOD
CCG: THIS IS
CCG: COMPLETELY HILARIOUS.
CCG: NOW I SEE WHY EVERYONE HAS BEEN RIPPING ON MY MEMOS.
PAG: Karkat I said shut the fuck up!!!!!!!!
PAG: Anyway, though totally unnecessary, your apology is accepted.
PAT: oKAY,
PAG: Now pick yourself up off the floor so we can go wring some fucking treasure out of this misera8le magic rock!
PAT: yEAH, i'LL TRY,
PAG: Actually, never mind, I'll 8e over there to help you with that too, kind of like I do with everything.
PAG: Just lie still and try not to start crying or anything, and w8 a few minutes for your timeframe to catch up with mine.
PAT: uH,
PAT: wHAT,
PAG: Exactly! I aaaaaaaam smarter than you. You see? You're learning!
CCG: FUCK, ENOUGH ALREADY.
CCG: THERE, GREAT, ANOTHER HAPPY COUPLE
CCG: IN WHATEVER HIDEOUS QUADRANT THIS BATSHIT PAIRING WILL SUSTAIN.
CCG: NOW OFF YOU GO.
CCG banned PAT from responding to memo.
CCG banned PAG from responding to memo.
CCG: HOLY HELL.
CCG: THIS IS EXHAUSTING.
CCG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE.
CCG: OK, MAYBE I'LL TAKE A MINUTE TO COLLECT MY THOUGHTS AND GET BACK ON TOPIC HERE.
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 609 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG: NO YOU WON'T.
FCG: THIS ONE WAS PARTICULARLY NAUSEATING IN RETROSPECT, I'M SHUTTING THIS DOWN.
FCG banned CCG from responding to memo.

FCG closed memo.

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> HEY RUNT
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