Kanaya: Reply to memo.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 599 HOURS FROM NOW opened memo on board TEAM ADORABLOODTHIRSTY.

FCG: FINE THEN.
FCG: SINCE PAST ME JUST BANNED CURRENT ME FROM THE PRECEDING MEMO
FCG: AND DOESN'T APPEAR TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MY FUTURE WISDOM, AS USUAL
FCG: LOOKS LIKE I'LL JUST HAVE TO START ANOTHER MEMO FROM SCRATCH.
FCG: HEY PAST ME, GO HAVE A BLAST KILLING THE KING, I'M SURE IT WILL BE AWESOME.
FCG: IN FACT, IT WAS AWESOME. BANG UP JOB WITH THAT, DUDE!
FCG: TOO BAD IT WAS ALL A HUGE WASTE OF TIME.
FCG: OH, WHAT'S THAT, PASTHOLE? YOU DIDN'T READ THIS AND FIGURE THAT OUT AHEAD OF TIME?
FCG: OR MAYBE YOU JUST SKIMMED THIS AND IT DIDN'T GET THROUGH YOUR THICK BULGE???
FCG: WHAT A SHOCK!
FCG: MEMO-WITHIN-MEMO TO PRESENT SELF: PUT FORTH A MORE CONCERTED EFFORT TO IMPRESS UPON EVERYONE IN THE PAST, MYSELF INCLUDED, WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING IDIOTS THEY ALL ARE.
FCG: I AM LEARNING A VALUABLE LESSON TODAY!
FCG: IT TURNS OUT YOU CAN'T ALTER THE OUTCOME OF DECISIONS MADE BY MORONS, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU YELL AT THEM.
FCG: ALL YOU CAN REALLY DO IS GIVE THEM A HARD TIME AND TRY TO MAKE THEIR LIVES JUST A LITTLE MORE MISERABLE.
FCG: WHICH SOUNDS LIKE A MORE NOBLE PURSUIT THAN CHANGING DESTINY FOR THE BETTER ANYWAY, FRANKLY.
FCG: LOSERS SHOULD BE FORCED TO FACE THE MUSIC, EVEN FOR THE MISTAKES THEY HAVEN'T MADE YET.
FCG: THEIR PUNISHMENT IS BEING ALLOWED TO MAKE THE MISTAKE IN THE FIRST PLACE. TALK ABOUT POETIC JUSTICE!
FCG: AND THEN GETTING SOUNDLY BERATED BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER THE MISTAKES ARE BEING MADE IS JUST THE MUCUS ON THE GRUBLOAF.
FCG: THE SWEET, TANGY MUCUS.
FCG: THIS IS DUMB.
FCG: WHY DID I EVER THINK THESE MEMOS WERE GOING TO BE A GOOD IDEA.
FCG: NOBODY CARES
FCG: I MEAN
FCG: NOBODY'S EVEN TROLLING ME ANYMORE.
FCG: AND I'M LEAVING MYSELF WIDE OPEN TOO, SAYING SOME PRETTY DUMB THINGS HERE.
FCG: I GUESS MAYBE I WROTE TOO MANY.
FCG: AND FILLED TOO MANY OF THEM WITH LONG ARGUMENTS WITH MYSELF.
FCG: NO ONE'S GOING TO READ THROUGH ALL THIS, ALL THE VALUABLE INFORMATION IS JUST GETTING LOST IN THE YELLING.
FCG: YOU STUPID STUPID IDIOT.
FCG: OH FUCK YOU, WHY'D YOU EVEN START ANOTHER MEMO THEN??
FCG: I GUESS
FCG: THERE ARE A COUPLE THINGS I WANT TO GET OFF MY CHEST, OK?
FCG: OH GOD, NOW I'M ARGUING WITH CURRENT ME.
FCG: I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE I WAS DOING IT, THIS IS REALLY FUCKED UP.
FCG: I'VE GOT TO PULL IT TOGETHER.
FCG: THINK BACK TO WHAT WE MIGHT HAVE DONE WRONG.
FCG: BUT THE THING IS
FCG: AS MUCH AS OUR PAST SELVES ARE A BUNCH OF STUBBORN UNLISTENING ASSHOLES
FCG: I CAN'T EVEN REALLY IDENTIFY ANY MISTAKES WE MADE.
FCG: IT WAS ALL PRETTY MUCH LIKE CLOCKWORK.
FCG: A 600 HOUR CAMPAIGN TO COMPLETE A GAME LIKE THIS IS PRETTY GOOD IF YOU ASK ME.
FCG: AND I HAVE ASKED ME.
FCG: IT TURNS OUT ME AGREES.
FCG: I CAN'T SHAKE THE FEELING SOMEONE ELSE MUST BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.
FCG: IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN IN OUR SESSION.
FCG: SOLLUX HAS THE SAME INTUITION ABOUT IT AS ME, HE THINKS THERE'S SOMETHING FII2HY ABOUT IT.
FCG: IT'S REALLY INSUFFERABLE THE WAY HER FISH PUNS HAVE RUBBED OFF ON HIM, IT KIND OF MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.
FCG: ANYWAY
FCG: HE SAYS HE'S WORKING ON TRACING THE ORIGIN OF THIS DISASTER.
FCG: IF I FIND OUT WHO'S RESPONSIBLE
FCG: I WILL
FCG: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT NOW.
FCG: WASTE OF GOOD FRESH RAGE.
FCG: I'M A LITTLE TIRED OF ALL THE OLD THINGS I'VE BEEN ANGRY ABOUT.
FCG: IT'S GOTTEN SO STALE.
FCG: IN A WEIRD WAY I'M SORT OF LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING SOMETHING NEW TO BE PISSED OFF ABOUT.
FCG: IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S ANYTHING ELSE TO LIVE FOR NOW ANYWAY.
FCG: SO I'M KEEPING MY PRONGS CROSSED.
FCG: IT WILL BE LIKE FUCKING 12TH PERIGEE'S EVE UP IN HERE.
FCG: LAST SWEEP'S EVE WAS PROBABLY THE LAST HAPPY MEMORY I HAVE IN FACT.
FCG: WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO FOR THE LAST HOLIDAY?
FCG: ANYONE?
FCG: I REMEMBER MY LUSUS HAD BEEN GONE FOR DAYS AND I WAS STARTING TO GET WORRIED.
FCG: BUT THEN HE FINALLY RETURNED, TRIUMPHANT.
FCG: HE BROUGHT THE FRESH BEHEMOTH LEAVING INTO OUR HIVE, AND TOGETHER WE DECORATED IT.
FCG: AND
FCG: I DUNNO
FCG: THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY, I'M GETTING A LUMP IN MY SQUAWK BLISTER.
FCG: I GUESS I'M DONE.
FCG: I'M GOING TO LIE DOWN NOW
FCG: ON THE STEEL FLOOR OF THIS FRIGID METEOR DRIFTING THROUGH THE BLACK UNCARING VOID OF OUR NULL SESSION.
FCG: NULL, KIND OF LIKE THIS MEMO I GUESS.
FCG: LATER.
CURRENT grimAuxiliatrix [CGA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CGA: I Dont Think We Did Anything Special
FCG: WHOA, HEY
FCG: WHAT?
CGA: Last 12th
CGA: We Stayed In
CGA: And I Read Stories To Her It Was Nice
FCG: OH
FCG: THAT'S COOL.
FCG: THIS IS THE FIRST TIME YOU'VE RESPONDED TO A MEMO THAT I CAN RECALL.
FCG: YOU TOOK IT RIGHT DOWN TO THE WIRE. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CLOSE THIS THING.
CGA: Yeah I Know
CGA: I Wasnt Sure If I Was Going To
CGA: But Then I Noticed A Conversation In Which I Was A Participant
CGA: Which As It Turns Out Is The Conversation Taking Place Now
CGA: I Scanned It Briefly And Then Perused Other Memos For My Presence
CGA: I Found None And Returned To This One
CGA: But My Part Of The Conversation Was Gone
CGA: I Regarded This As A Prompt To Begin Typing And Record My Contributions Live
CGA: That Is How This Works Isnt It
FCG: PRETTY MUCH.
FCG: FOR A WHILE IT WAS FRUSTRATING.
FCG: WHEN I DISCOVERED THE FEATURE I KIND OF BREEZED THROUGH ALL MY FUTURE MEMOS, NOT REALLY READING ALL OF THEM CAREFULLY OR THOROUGHLY.
FCG: THEN I LOOKED AT IT AGAIN, AND THE WHOLE BOARD WAS GONE.
FCG: BECAUSE IT WAS TIME TO MAKE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE, SO I DID.
FCG: AND THEN I KEPT MAKING MEMOS WITH ONLY FOGGY RECOLLECTIONS OF WHAT THEY CONTAINED.
FCG: WHILE ALL THESE OTHER CHUMPS FROM DIFFERENT TIMES KEPT GIVING ME SHIT.
FCG: INCLUDING MYSELF.
FCG: BUT IT WAS ALL GOOD, BECAUSE AS I EVENTUALLY BECAME MY OWN FUTURE SELVES, AND GOT TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDES OF THOSE CONVERSATIONS.
FCG: AND COULD DO MY PAST SELVES THE SERVICE OF INFORMING THEM HOW STUPID THEY WERE BEING.
FCG: I STOPPED BOTHERING TRYING TO REMEMBER HOW ANY OF THESE MEMOS WENT.
FCG: HONESTLY THE LAST FEW WEEKS HAVE BEEN A BLUR TO ME, JUST NON STOP YELLING AT MYSELF, HAGGLING WITH PAST AND FUTURE KNUCKLEHEADS, KILLING MONSTERS AND SOLVING PUZZLES, CYCLING THROUGH ALL THE GATES AND PLANETS LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES, ZIGZAGGING DOWN TO THE BATTLEFIELD, OUT TO THE VEIL, OVER TO PROSPIT, BACK TO DERSE, AND ON AND ON AND ON LIKE THAT UNTIL WE THOUGHT WE WON.
FCG: BUT WE DIDN'T WIN. WE LOST.
FCG: WE LOST AS HARD AS FAT GUYS FALL.
CGA: What Exactly Happened
FCG: DID YOU READ THE MEMO JUST BEFORE THIS?
CGA: No
FCG: GIVE IT A READ, I'M DONE RANTING ABOUT ALL THAT FOR NOW.
CGA: Alright
CGA: In A Moment
FCG: BUT YEAH, THAT'S HOW TROLLIAN'S TIMELINE STUFF WORKS. YOU'LL GET USED TO IT.
FCG: OR NOT! SINCE APPARENTLY THIS IS YOUR ONLY MEMO REPLY. YOU WERE PRETTY SHREWD IN SIDESTEPPING THIS WHOLE CLUSTERFUCK.
CGA: It Seems Like A Logical Way To Engineer A System Wherein One Simultaneously Functions As The Reader And Author Of The Transcripts
CGA: Its Temporally Sound Construction
FCG: THEN YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS SO.
FCG: HELL YOU PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER MAID OF TIME THAN THE ONE WE WERE STUCK WITH.
FCG: SHE'S COMPLETELY SHITHIVE MAGGOTS, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.
CGA: I Think We Are Given Roles To Challenge Us
CGA: That Dont Necessarily Suit Our Strengths
CGA: At Least I Was
CGA: I Have No Idea What Im Doing Here
FCG: SURE YOU DO.
FCG: OR, YOU WILL. TRUST ME YOU'LL DO FINE.
FCG: SO WHAT PROMPTED YOU TO RESPOND ANYWAY.
FCG: I MEAN ASIDE FROM BEING STRONGARMED BY CONVERSATIONAL PREDESTINATION.
CGA: Oh
CGA: At This Point Im Not Even Sure If Im Inclined To Ask Anymore
FCG: YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE A CHOICE.
FCG: DO YOU REMEMBER IF THIS MEMO WAS MUCH LONGER THAN THIS?
CGA: Um
CGA: There Is A Good Way To Go I Think Yeah
FCG: THEN MIGHT AS WELL SPIT IT OUT.
CGA: Its Such A Silly Question
FCG: RED OR BLACK?
CGA: What
FCG: YOUR PROBLEM, DOES IT PERTAIN TO REDROM OR BLACKROM INTERESTS?
CGA: Thats Not What This Is About
FCG: COME ON. PEOPLE HAVE BEEN USING THESE MEMOS TO SIFT THROUGH THEIR ROMANTIC PROBLEMS FOR WEEKS, I AM A FUCKING VETERAN AT THIS SHIT BY NOW.
FCG: SERIOUSLY, I DON'T MIND, IT'LL BE A WELCOME REPRIEVE FROM SHOUTING AT MYSELF.
CGA: Im Not Sure What To Say About It
FCG: DIDN'T YOU AT LEAST GET A SENSE OF WHAT THIS CONVERSATION WAS ABOUT WHEN YOU SKIMMED IT?
CGA: Not Really
CGA: If I Were Thinking About It I Probably Wouldnt Have Wanted To Anyway
CGA: Dont You Think Its Better To Have Unrehearsed Conversations
CGA: Even If The Subject Matter Is Awkward
FCG: YES I COMPLETELY AGREE.
FCG: IT'S GOOD YOU DIDN'T READ IT. WE CAN AVOID THE SORT OF VERBAL SLAPSTICK ROUTINES I'M SICK TO FUCKING DEATH OF BY NOW.
FCG: I AM SO TIRED OF PEOPLE BEING ALL COY AND TELLING ME WHAT WE'RE ABOUT TO SAY BEFORE WE SAY IT, AND THEN WE WIND UP FUCKING SAYING IT ANYWAY.
FCG: AND THEN WE PROVE TO THE INVISIBLE RIDDLER THAT IS FATHER TIME BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING IDIOTS WE ALL ARE.
FCG: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW OLD THAT GETS AFTER A WHILE?
FCG: SO REALLY, TELL ME.
FCG: I KNOW IT'S ON YOUR MIND, I GOT A SENSE FOR THESE THINGS.
FCG: R OR B???
CGA: Ok
CGA: Red Then
CGA: But I Guess
CGA: Not Really Red Enough
FCG: HAHA, WELL ISN'T THAT ALWAYS THE CASE?
FCG: STORY AS OLD AS TIME.
FCG: EVEN IN PLACES WHERE STRICTLY SPEAKING TIME DIDN'T EXIST UNTIL RECENTLY.
FCG: WHO'S THE TARGET OF THESE FLUSHED LEANINGS?
FCG: IF YOU DON'T MIND MY ASKING.
CGA: Its Not The Asking I Mind
CGA: Its The Telling
CGA: In A Public Forum
FCG: I DON'T THINK ANYONE'S READING.
FCG: DID YOU NOTICE ANYONE ELSE JOIN IN LATER?
CGA: No
CGA: It Appeared To Be Just The Two Of Us
FCG: SEE
FCG: NOBODY CARES ENOUGH TO BOTHER.
CGA: I Dont Know Whether Thats Reassuring
CGA: Or Just A Bit Disheartening
FCG: WELL I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.
FCG: THEIR DISINTEREST IS MORE A REFLECTION ON ME THAN YOU.
CGA: Disinterest Is The Operative Concept Here
CGA: Shes Not Even Responding To My Messages Anymore
CGA: Could Be Busy
CGA: But Im Rapidly Approaching A Resolution To Discard The Preposterous Infatuation
FCG: SHE? WELL I GUESS THAT NARROWS IT DOWN SOMEWHAT.
CGA: Shit
FCG: IF I THINK BACK ON EVENTS KNOWING THIS I COULD PROBABLY PIECE IT TOGETHER...
CGA: How About
CGA: If I Agree To Consult With You About It In Private
CGA: We Can Drop It Here
CGA: Before You Crack Me Like A Vault
CGA: With Your Weird Romance Sleuthing Acumen
FCG: ALRIGHT, DEAL.
CGA: It Still Puzzles Me That You Are So Versed In The Topic
CGA: Do You Have Access To A Manual Archived On A Remote Server Somewhere
FCG: WHAT
FCG: NO OF COURSE NOT.
FCG: I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW ALL THAT MUCH.
FCG: I JUST KNOW THIS STUFF WILL DRIVE YOU SHITHIVE MAGGOTS IF YOU DON'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO DEAL WITH IT.
CGA: That Figure Of Speech You Keep Using Puzzles Me Too
FCG: LIKE
FCG: NOT THAT I EXPECT YOU TO GIVE A SHIT BUT PERSONALLY I AM ALL TWISTED UP ABOUT BLACKROM STUFF ESPECIALLY.
FCG: HONESTLY I DON'T THINK I WAS CUT OUT TO HAVE A KISMESIS, I THINK MY STANDARDS ARE WAY TOO HIGH.
FCG: DID YOU KNOW THAT...
FCG: THIS FEELS SO INSANE TO ADMIT, BUT
FCG: OVER THE COURSE OF THIS ADVENTURE, AT TIMES I ACTUALLY BEGAN TO SUSPECT I WAS MY OWN KISMESIS.
FCG: HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT???
CGA: Im Not Qualified To Say
CGA: Neither Romance Nor Psychology Are My Strong Suits
FCG: BUT OBVIOUSLY ITS NOT TRUE, I NEVER EVEN DID ANY LEGIT TIME TRAVELING WHERE I COULD MEET MYSELF, I JUST BICKERED WITH PAST AND FUTURE GHOSTS ON A CHAT CLIENT.
FCG: FITTING REALLY. EVERY CALIGINOUS ADVERSARY I'VE CONTEMPLATED HAS ELUDED ME LIKE A PHANTOM, EVEN MYSELF!
FCG: WHATEVER, I'M DONE WITH IT.
CGA: And What Of Scarlet Ambitions
CGA: Fare Any Better In That Quadrant
FCG: NO NO NO I'M NOT AIRING THAT SHIT OUT HERE.
FCG: MAYBE PRIVATELY.
FCG: IT'S PRIVATE.
FCG: LET'S CHANGE THE SUBJECT, WHAT WERE YOU ORIGINALLY GOING TO ASK ME.
CGA: Oh Fine
CGA: Heres This Silly Question For You
CGA: I Was Just Wondering Given Your Vantage Of Hindsight
CGA: If Youd Had Cause To Observe At Any Point In Time
CGA: Magic
FCG: UH...
CGA: Like Real Magic
CGA: I Guess What Im Asking Is
CGA: Is Magic A Real Thing
FCG: WOW, YOU'RE RIGHT, THAT'S KIND OF THE DUMBEST FUCKING QUESTION I'VE EVER HEARD.
CGA: I Know
CGA: Its Just That I Have A Good Reason To Believe Magic Is Real
CGA: Our Ancient Predecessors Discovered How To Use It
CGA: But Then They May Have Surpassed Us In Skill By A Great Deal
FCG: YOU PUT WAY TOO MUCH STOCK IN THAT RATTY OLD GUIDE.
FCG: BUT ANYWAY NO, WE NEVER USED MAGIC.
FCG: I MEAN, LET ME TRY TO PUT INTO PERSPECTIVE HOW RIDICULOUS THE WHOLE NOTION IS ANYWAY.
FCG: WE CAN ALCHEMIZE PRACTICALLY ANYTHING WITH THE RIGHT MATERIALS AND GRIST.
FCG: WE CAN, AND DID, MAKE SUPER POWERFUL WEAPONS AND ITEMS THAT CAN DO PRACTICALLY ANYTHING.
FCG: WHAT ADDITIONAL ADVANTAGE COULD MAGIC OFFER? ALL THIS SHIT IS PRACTICALLY MAGIC ANYWAY.
FCG: BUT MORE LIKE
FCG: GOOFY SCIENCEY MAGIC. YOU KNOW?
CGA: Sure
FCG: BUT EVERYTHING HERE IS KIND OF MAGIC IN A WAY, ISN'T IT.
FCG: FORTUNE TELLING DREAM CLOUDS AND GOLDEN MOONS AND SHIT.
FCG: IF YOU LOOK AROUND
FCG: THERE'S MAGIC EVERYWHERE IN THIS BITCH.
FCG: IT'S ALL AROUND US.
FCG: MOTHER FUCKIN MIRACLES, RIGHT?
CGA: Heh
FCG: WHAT DO YOU NEED MAGIC FOR ANYWAY?
CGA: Im Running Out Of Ideas
CGA: I Need To Figure Out A Way To Stoke This Volcano
CGA: In Case You And The Others Are Successful In Recovering The Queens Ring
FCG: YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
FCG: AND YOU WON'T NEED MAGIC, TRUST ME.
FCG: JUST BE PATIENT, THE ANSWER WILL COME TO YOU SOMEHOW.
CGA: I Guess You Would Know
FCG: YEAH, REALLY THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
FCG: AT LEAST AS FAR AS THE DETAILS OF THE ADVENTURE GO.
FCG: WE WERE ALL PRETTY AWESOME AT THIS GAME.
FCG: REALLY AWESOME IN FACT.
FCG: UNTIL A LITTLE WHILE AGO.
FCG: WHEN IT TURNED OUT WE WEREN'T ACTUALLY ALL THAT AWESOME.
FCG: TURNS OUT WE WERE PRETTY FUCKING UNAWESOME ALL ALONG.
CGA: Still Baffled By What Would Conceivably Cause Such A Crisis In Awesomeness Post-Victory
FCG: WELL
FCG: FOR STARTERS
FCG: HAVE YOU SCROLLED UP TO THE TOP OF THE TIMELINES YET?
CGA: No
FCG: CHECK THAT OUT
FCG: MAYBE READ A FEW RECENT MEMOS
FCG: BUT OTHER THAN THAT IT'S NOT FOR YOU TO CONCERN YOURSELF WITH.
FCG: JUST DEAL WITH GETTING THROUGH THE QUEST.
FCG: I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU ABOUT IT WHEN YOU CATCH UP WITH ME ON THE TIMELINE.
FCG: WHICH JUST HAPPENS TO BE RIGHT NOW.
CGA: Say Hi To Me For Myself
FCG: OK I PROBABLY WON'T DO THAT, BUT ALRIGHT HA HA.
FCG: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE ANYWAY?
CGA: You Mean Future Me
FCG: YEAH.
FCG: YOU'RE MESSING AROUND WITH YOUR CHAINSAW.
FCG: WHILE TAVROS IS SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR.
FCG: OH GOD.
FCG: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK WHAT ARE YOU DOING???????
CGA: What
CGA: What Did I Do
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist 2 [FCG2] 600 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG2: OK.
FCG2: EVERYTHING'S FINE I GUESS.
CGA: What Happened
FCG2: I PASSED OUT FOR ABOUT AN HOUR.
FCG2: FUCKING EMBARRASSING.
FCG2: YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND, YOU KNOW.
CGA: Shithive Maggots You Mean
FCG2: YEAH
FCG2: IN A GOOD WAY THOUGH.
FCG2: OK I'M SHUTTING THIS MEMO DOWN FOR MY PAST SELF.
FCG2: SINCE HE'S CURRENTLY LYING UNCONSCIOUS ON THE FLOOR AN HOUR AGO.
FCG2: SEE YOU IN THE FUTURE-NOW.
CGA: Til Then
FCG2 banned CGA from responding to memo.
FCG2 banned FCG from responding to memo.

FCG2 closed memo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

> Kanaya: Scroll up.
Advertisement