Thief: Tear into Page.

AT: uH,
AT: wHOOOPS,
AG: It was so em8arrassing just reading that Tavros. I'm em8arrassed!
AG: I am actually feeling genuine em8arrassment. Your o8scene incompetence is actually polluting my otherwise pristine composure. Nice going!
AT: sO,
AT: i DON'T CARE,
AG: Jade let you down too easy. She's too nice! Someone's got to tear into you for that appalling display, and once again, guess who's shoulders that falls on?
AG: That's right. Vriska's, as usual.
AT: i THINK SHE HAS THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF NICENESS, pERSONALLY,
AT: aN AMOUNT THAT IS SOME, iNSTEAD OF,
AT: nONE,
AG: Hey, I'm nice when it matters, and where it doesn't strangul8te the critical development of people I give a shit a8out, ok?
AG: Really I don't know what you see in her. She is completely useless, like you.
AG: W8, of course!!!!!!!! It makes perfect sense. You and she represent the ideal matespritship, how could I have 8een so 8lind!
AG: Two perfectly pointless gru8s in a bucket.
AT: nO, i HAVE TOO MUCH SELF CONFIDENCE NOW TO BE UPSET BY YOUR SCANDALOUS IMAGERY,
AT: i DON'T THINK SHE IS USELESS,
AT: aND i DON'T THINK i AM EITHER,
AT: bECAUSE OF NEW SELF ESTEEMS OBTAINED, rEMEMBER,
AG: Oh will you please stop going on a8out your fucking self esteem.
AG: I will say this much a8out her, she was right a8out that. How insuffera8le can you get, prattling on and on a8out how confident you are.
AG: Tavros, you give confidence a 8ad name. I gave you all the chances in the world to earn it, to earn REAL confidence, and you failed.
AG: You couldn't even do the one little thing I asked you to! The one thing that would have made you man up once and for all.
AG: So instead you flew away and cried, and decided to sleep away your sorrow for the rest of the adventure.
AG: Do you have any idea how sick that made me? Everything a8out you makes me sick.
AG: When you talk a8out your self confidence, I throw up a little. You don't know what confidence is. Ro8o-legs don't give you confidence, that 8n't no more true than saying my ro8o-arm gave me mine. See what I mean?
AG: Your confidence is faker than even the great Rufio himself, Lord of the Unreal. It's pure fiction, a false fakey fraudy con jo8 from a wimpy loser charlatan 8ullshit artist.
AG: It's shallow and nause8ting, just like you. Do us all a favor and SHUT UP a8out it.
AT: oK, i THINK,
AT: tHIS IS ACTUALLY MAKING ME PRETTY MAD,
AG: Yeah right!!!!!!!!
AG: I'll 8elieve that when I see it, chump.
AT: i DON'T WANT YOU TO MOCK ME ANYMORE,
AT: i DON'T KNOW IF MY CONFIDENCE IS REAL, oR WHAT,
AT: bUT i WOULD LIKE YOU TO STOP SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT TO ME,
AT: aND TO STOP SAYING BAD THINGS ABOUT MY FRIEND JADE, tOO,
AG: Jade is an idiot.
AG: A useless, 8oring no8ody. What has she done for her party other than fuck up every step of the way? What does she ever do 8ut take naps and get in trou8le?
AG: She's awful, and you deserve each other. Oh w8, except she h8tes you!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahaha. Even the 8oring pointless girl h8s you, talk a8out a guy who can't get a 8r8k.
AG: Though I guess she's not compleeeeeeeetely useless. ::::)
AT: wHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT,
AG: Ok, Tavros, I gave her credit for something, so I'll give you credit for something too.
AG: Your plan to control her lusus really wasn't a 8ad idea!
AG: And using your a8ility to "save her life" (lol) was a pretty good way to test how effective your powers are across sessions.
AG: Pretty good way to practice, to know where you stand!
AG: Practicing your a8ilities is important, so when it comes down to using them for something that really matters, you know you're ready for prime time.
AG: I know this first hand.
AG: I got lots and lots and LOTS of practice with your little guinea pig friend. ::::D
AG: So really, turns out she wasn't so useless at all! Far from it.
AT: wHOA, wHAT,
AT: aRE YOU SAYING YOU DID TO HER,
AG: Not really the point!
AG: The point is I'm trying to pay you a compliment.
AG: At this point, you are so sad and disgusting, you should treat anything nice anyone has to say a8out you like a chest full of shimmering 8oon8ucks.
AT: oKAAAY, gOD,
AT: wHAT,
AG: Like I said! Your plan was solid.
AG: Controlling the guardian to go after Jack was a fine idea. Sure would stir some shit up! 8etter than 8eing an insignificant stuttering piece of trash all the time, I say.
AG: And you were definitely on to something a8out doing it "irregardless" (lol) of her wishes.
AG: 8ecause it's for her own good! That's what winners do. They do what is right for someone they care a8out even if the other person does nothing 8ut 8itch and moan and act ungr8ful a8out it. 8etter you learned l8 than never.
AG: In fact, I would go as far as saying that if you went ahead with her plan against her wishes, it MIGHT just earn you a smidgen of respect from me.
AG: We'll see.
AG: There's really just one catch.
AT: oH,
AT: wHAT'S THAT,

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