Jade: Pester a Dave.

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

GG: dave!!!!!!
GG: any dave out there please listen!
TG: this is a dave out there whats up
GG: dave i just saw you, and you were dead!
GG: you were in a green suit and covered in blood, oh god it was terrible :(
GG: if that was a future dave you have to make sure that doesnt happen!!!
TG: it wasnt a future dave he was from a while ago
GG: oh
GG: i am confused :o
TG: sorry you had to see that
TG: but dont worry it was just a doomed dave no big deal really
TG: i was swindled into splitting time paths along the way and that guy got the dead end of the stick
TG: ill be fine
GG: ok...
GG: i am still not sure i get that!
GG: but i guess i am relieved?
TG: yes you are go ahead and be relieved
GG: wheeeew! there i just was
TG: nice
GG: how did that poor dave die?
GG: was it jack?
TG: yeah
TG: hes pretty much the guy in charge of random teleportation murders right now
GG: D:
GG: what about your...
GG: um....
GG: oh no i dont even know if you know about this
TG: what
TG: my bro
TG: yeah jack killed him too
GG: ;_;
GG: is it something you would like to talk about
TG: not much to talk about
TG: this is some pretty serious existence threatening shit going down and some people are going to die i guess
TG: even crazy hard dudes like my bro slash weird covert biological ghost dad
GG: ghost dad???
TG: yeah roses too
TG: i thought john filled you in on the ectobiology stuff
GG: oh...
GG: yes he mentioned something about it
GG: i guess i didnt realize its full implications....
GG: but time was short when we talked!
TG: bottom line is were all related slimewise except you and me and him and rose pairways respectively
TG: makes the shipping chart pretty simple here hang on while i dig up that piece of shit karkat made
TG: where the fuck did that thing go
TG: fuck it never mind
TG: just imagine something ugly made by a jackass
GG: ugh i forgot i still have to get back to him
GG: its like a big unpleasant chore hanging over my head D:
TG: i guess
GG: anyway dave im really sorry about your bro/dad
GG: you were pretty close with him right?
TG: meh it was a pretty bizarre relationship by any standard
TG: fightin off wave after wave of face pumicing puppet ass every day
TG: always being on guard for stealth attacks in the middle of the night while getting up to go to the fucking bathroom
GG: heheh
TG: but i guess it all sorta amounted to some vague unspoken semblance of kinship
TG: if thats a thing
TG: like if honor among thieves is something then lets call it camaraderie among ironic rapping roof ninjas
TG: but thanks
GG: sure
TG: i thought about taking his sword
TG: when i was there
TG: but i couldnt
TG: couldnt really bring myself to try to pull it out it was too weird
GG: dave we have to stop him!!!!!
TG: what
GG: jack!
GG: he shouldnt get away with this
TG: you think
GG: yes
GG: why dont you stop jumping around through time like a maniac and stop being like a hundred daves all the time and come to my house so we can make a plan to kill him??
TG: well id like to
TG: but im still trapped in the chronologistics of this fuckin one man ballet
TG: there are loops outstanding and if i step out of line you get to see more bloody daves
TG: im getting pretty sick of it but i think itll be over soon
TG: then ill break out and ride linear the rest of the way i think
TG: once its time to put the end game in motion
TG: til then youre on your own for a while
GG: oh :(
TG: besides we cant beat him
TG: look what he did to bro and davesprite together
TG: im at the top of my echeladder with all the fraymotifs and i stand no chance
TG: johns even better than that even though he doesnt know it at the moment
TG: and he stands no chance either
TG: only thing we can do is hold out until the scratch
GG: what is the scratch?
TG: guess i shouldnt really say
TG: since you sort of lead the way in making that plan
GG: really??
TG: yeah well
TG: suffice to say
TG: if we cant beat him
TG: all we can really do is exile him to a place where he cant teleport back
TG: which hopefully buys us some time
TG: to try to take out his power source in a crazy suicide mission
GG: hmmmm...
GG: so was that like a hint?
GG: about what im supposed to do :D
TG: kinda
GG: well maybe im just being naive...
GG: but a crazy suicide mission does not sound like the ideal solution to me!
GG: are you suuuure we cant beat him?
GG: i dont know if we should rule it out!
TG: well
TG: youre about to do what youre about to do
TG: and im not going to tell you not to
TG: i wont do the bullshit troll thing and tell you what youre going to do and then just dare you not to
TG: while knowing damn well you will anyway
TG: so ill just say
TG: whats next is up to you
TG: and if later you want to talk about it
TG: im here
GG: ok
GG: thanks dave!

> Jade: Do what you're about to do.
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