He's been around as long as you can remember. You were practically raised by that puppet. He was a much better guardian to you than that Hollywood superstar BRO of yours ever was. He is such a good listener. You share with him all your most private thoughts and hopes and dreams, and sometimes you snuggle up with him for a nice nap.

Anyway, the bottom line is, puppets are awesome.

And that's really all there is to say on the matter.

> Dirk: Admire fancy santa.