uu: THE LOATHSOME FALSE PERSON. WITH THE FLOPPY LIMBS. IN DERSITE ATTIRE. YOu LIKE TO NAP WITH. TT: Oh, Lil Cal? No, man. TT: Lil Cal is the shit. uu: THAT THING IS NOT THE SHIT. uu: IT IS AN uNCANNY GRINNING MOCKERY. A BAD OMEN. YOu SHOuLD CHOP IT uP AND BuRN IT. TT: No way, dude. He's my best friend. uu: HOW FuCKING SAD IS THAT?? uu: I'M JuST TRYING. FOR ONCE. AND THE ONLY TIME EVER. TO BE HELPFuL. uu: THOSE THINGS. uu: YOu DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY ARE. TT: A kickass ventriloquist doll? TT: I've been given reason to believe it once belonged to my bro. uu: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. WHAT YOu BELIEVE. uu: THERE'S ONLY ONE REASON FOR THOSE TO EXIST. uu: IT IS TO TuRN THE LIFE OF EVERYONE WHO OCCuPIES THE SAME uNIVERSE WITH IT. uu: INTO A NIGHTMARE. TT: Is that one of your alien folk stories? uu: YES. uu: BuT IT ALSO. uu: IS TRuE. uu: GET RID OF IT. TT: You could argue that my life is already kind of a nightmare, so there's no point in getting rid of him now. TT: Either way, I'm gonna hang on to him. uu: YOu STuBBORN FuCK. uu: FINE. uu: MAYBE IT DOESN'T MATTER. uu: MAYBE YOuRS IS uNTAINTED? I DON'T KNOW. uu: COuLD BE. ITS EYES LOOK... uu: DEAD TO ME? uu: MAYBE YOu LuCKED THE FuCK OuT. WITH YOuR PARTICuLAR JuJu. TT: I honestly had no idea you were this superstitious. TT: You're a pretty fascinating guy, in a way. I can't really figure you out. TT: In case you're wondering why I put up with you more than my friends do. uu: I WASN'T. uu: NOW ARE YOu GOING TO GO GET IT. uu: OR WHAT. TT: Why do you want me to get Cal so bad? uu: I DON'T! uu: JuST THAT. I SAW YOu. SLIGHTLY AHEAD OF NOW. uu: CLIMBING TO THE ROOF WITH THAT THING. uu: SO APPARENTLY. IT'S REQuISITE FOR GETTING THE FuCK ON WITH STuFF?? uu: DuMBASS. TT: Ok. So, some self-fulfilling shit, then. I was hoping for a better reason. uu: WHATEVER. DON'T TAKE IT. uu: MAKE A PARADOX HAPPEN. WORKS FOR FuCKING ME. TT: At this point I'm leaning toward grabbing him just cause he seems to bother you so much. uu: WELL. I'VE HEARD OF WORSE REASONS FOR ACTING LIKE A STuPID PIECE OF SHIT.