TT: Yeah, assuming I can actually send it today without another untimely paradoxification.
TT: If not, then hey, you get a sick grill full of birthday slime instead.
GT: Oh hell no. HELL no man.
GT: Well listen. If youre going to send anything to me slime or otherwise can you please at least not make the shit appear directly over my head this time?
GT: The last thing i need on my bday is another installment of and i quote manbro bukkake theater.
TT: You still don't actually know what that means, do you.
GT: Not really? Its your friggin figure of speech man. I gathered it just meant getting slimed like in ghost busters or somesuch.
TT: Kind of. I told you to look it up.
GT: Yeah yeah. Im a busy fella dirk!
GT: Wikipedia is a lot of letters to type in a thing for a man of action on the go.
GT: Im always doing adventures remember?
TT: That is such bullshit, you sit in your little jungle globe watching movies all day.
GT: Well yes. But ok i have a LOT of movies to bone up on. There are so many good ones i still havent seen.
TT: You think literally every film you watch is a masterpiece. I've never felt so much vicarious shame through someone else's atrocious taste in awful garbage.
GT: Screw you i have IMPECCABLE standards! Its just theres so much good stuff out there and ive really been on a roll with my picks lately.
TT: Do you even hear yourself, dude?
TT: Your "picks" are everything, and "lately" is always.
GT: Yes i hear myself just fine.
GT: I hear a discriminating gentlemans melodious voice and it strikes my ears as the voice of reason! Heheh.
GT: Say heres one im pretty excited about. Have you heard about this avatar jam? Its coming out next year.
TT: You mean the blue furry shit?
GT: No man it is not blue furry shit far from it. Get this. It is about this paralyzed fellow who is down on his luck and longs for adventure. And he finds it!
GT: But it is far away on an enchanted planet rich with coveted treasures. And adventure is not all that he finds oh no. He also finds romance.
GT: A beautiful blue woman from the wild teaches him the ways of her savage culture and also the ways of alien love. Together they frolic in the forest whilst sharing primal intimacy through magic sexual escapades.
TT: Ahahahaha.
GT: Whats so funny wise guy?
TT: To borrow from one of the more benighted sectors of your zeitgeist, that was "so gay."
GT: Excuse me but i fail to see what could possibly be gay about some huge elegant blue men and women having really spiritual intercourse with their tails or something.
TT: Well yeah, obviously not literally.
TT: Jake, where I'm from that word hasn't been used as a pejorative, or even much at all, in a really long fucking time.
GT: But youre from friggin texas! Arent you?
TT: Yes. But not exactly.
GT: Augh stop being such a cryptic troll all the time!
GT: Anyway avatar looks spectacular and i think my preemptive review was spot on. The bloody end!
TT: Ok but what you just said about those furries was gay as hell. It's time to face the facts.
GT: You are just treating my great taste in flicks to your aloof hipstery disdain as usual. You dont know anything about that movie. Maybe youll like it?
TT: Nah, I saw it already. That movie sucked the smelliest shit from the ugliest butt. Sorry man.
GT: Well now i know youre just trolling me. It wont be out for another year!
TT: Right.
TT: Here, let me send you the rest of this robot already.
TT: You've spent too long alone on that island as it is. I kinda worry about you.
TT: A man can only spend so much time in the middle of the damn ocean with nothing but popcultural detritus and his own thoughts to keep him company.
GT: Alrighty.
GT: I hope it wont be as difficult to finish building as the rest was to assemble.
TT: No, just screw the thing on and it's ready to go.
GT: Capital!
GT: Scoot that noggin my way at your ready then.

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