TT: Jane, you know, TT: We probably should have talked about this Jake stuff a long time ago. GG: Tell me about it. TT: I don't know if I was kidding myself all those years that there was a conflict of interest between us, or what. GG: Same. TT: Maybe I was just pretending your feelings for him weren't a factor because my pursuit of him was already overcomplicated enough. TT: Or maybe it was more like I was aware of them, but on some level decided they shouldn't matter, because I felt like you had a natural advantage over me. TT: Cause you know. You're like. TT: Not a dude. GG: But I always felt you had the advantage over me too! GG: Because you're... YOU. GG: You make things happen, and I don't. TT: Yeah well. Turns out maybe that's not such a good quality if you wanna make a relationship last longer than three seconds. At least not in my case. TT: I know I ripped into him pretty hard when I had the clown hair and the little soda can on my head. TT: But the truth is I was pretty goddamn overbearing. TT: Sometimes I look back on stuff and think I might have essentially bullied him into a relationship with me. TT: Actually, it's more complicated than that. Parts of me were operating independently from myself. TT: So it's like I was bullying myself into bullying him into liking me. If that makes sense. GG: It doesn't really. But that's fine. :B TT: Anyway, my insanity scared him right the fuck off. There were times when I basically treated him like shit without even realizing it, and I regret it. TT: I should probably tell him that, but given how I just called him an asshole while wearing orange suspenders, I'm probably the last person he wants to hear from now. GG: Clearly we both used some poor judgment. GG: Looking back, it seems crazy to me that we both jeopardized our friendship over a mutual infatuation with, let's face it, one spectacularly goofy kid. TT: Can we both at least agree we may have overrated the allure of Jake English? GG: YES. TT: Maybe if we could have talked to each other about him it would have helped. Like talked about why we felt that way about him. TT: At least maybe it would have helped us knock English down from the ludicrous pedestal we put him on. GG: Yeah. That might have saved us a lot of grief. GG: It's not like I hate him now, even though that's probably what he thinks. He's still my friend. GG: But the extent to which I centered my whole life around a childish fantasy about him is just painfully embarrassing in hindsight. GG: I wonder if I'll ever be able to look at him again without feeling miserable about myself? TT: So does that mean we're both totally over him now? I can't really tell. GG: Me neither. :\ TT: I guess the real problem is our clique was too small. TT: Poor Jake was the only viable romantic target. I mean, considering our respective orientations. TT: Maybe we just never knew enough people? GG: Perhaps. GG: Or maybe we just don't need anybody. GG: As anything other than friends, I mean. TT: In the interest of appeasing the bitterness gods, let's go with the latter.
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] TG: hay janey TG: how u holdin up girl GG: I feel like garbage. But otherwise, fine. TG: you off urself yet GG: No? TG: ok good TG: please dont yet TG: i got a personal back stage pass 2 the jake english self loathing tour TG: an im in no condition to take the full brunt of his lamentations but im the only one hes talkin to soooo TG: need a lil support here from my bestie GG: What is he saying? TG: he wants me to relay an apology to you TG: cause he thinks hes not brave enough to say it like ten feet away there on his stone bed and he thinks ur pissed @ him GG: Aw man. GG: I don't want to do this. TG: do what GG: An awkward "tell him I said" sequence of apologies through text messages. TG: ok TG: thats a sane answer TG: what should i say GG: Tell him I said we'll talk about it later. GG: Like, after we're dead. TG: k TG: well maybe i wont say that last part but k GG: How's it going over there? TG: fine TG: not a lot of progress on the dyin front TG: dont look like dirk much wants to stab me with his manime sword... TG: tbh waiting around to be buddymurdered and/or off oneself is even more awkward than you would think plus kind of a drag?? TG: specially w a headache blarg TG: jane this is dumb GG: Yeah. Call me crazy, but I don't think our candy-addled selves thought this through entirely. TG: yo trixster mode sucks ass txt it TG: jane u know what im sad about GG: Hm? TG: fefeta exploding GG: Yeah. :( TG: whyd she have to die again like that TG: she was so sweet and perfect and my friend TG: she would always just talk and talk about the funniest things from her life as two troll ladies and it always lifted my spirits TG: am i cursed or somethin jane? GG: Cursed? TG: yeah TG: its like TG: i always seem to accidentally kill my cats TG: or my half cat girls TG: ummm TG: who are part sea princess and also an alien ghost TG: i dunno maybe this line o speculation has no particular coherence TG: jane TG: after we go god tier you want to help me have a funeral for her GG: Of course, Roxy. TG: i would like that TG: i always wanted to go to a funeral TG: is that weird? maybe thats weird i dont know TG: i mean not like in an especially morbid or gothy kinda way i just think it would be cool to honor her memory TG: i never did that for frigglish but i should have TG: shit jakes buggin me again brb