VRISKA: These are my friends, Aradia and Sollux. VRISKA: I have recruited them for this expedition as specialists. VRISKA: They aren't really here to do any fighting. 8ut their a8ilities will 8ecome useful once we retrieve the treasure. ARADIA: hello. JOHN: hey. JOHN: are you alive? JOHN: your eyes do not look spooky and ghostly. ARADIA: thanks! ARADIA: yes im alive VRISKA: Yeah, and apparently she intends to stay that way? VRISKA: Hence her principled if somewhat lame commitment to pacifism. VRISKA: 8ut considering our history together, I'm willing to let 8ygones 8e 8ygones. I'm happy to have her on my crew in whatever capacity she likes. JOHN: your history? what happened? JOHN: wait, that's a rude question. sorry. TAVROS: (vRISKA KILLED HER TOO,) TAVROS: (sHE USED THE OTHER GUY THERE, tRAGICALLY, aS THE DEATH WEAPON,) VRISKA: Hey!!!!!!!! VRISKA: What did I say a8out 8ygones 8eing 8ygones? That's like rule fucking ONE of this ship. VRISKA: Anyway, she 8ecame a ro8ot and killed me 8ack, so o8viously we're cool now. JOHN: jeez, why does everyone always die so much? SOLLUX: (l0l, like this guy's 0ne t0 talk.) ARADIA: (sollux dont make our guest uncomfortable) SOLLUX: (he's already unc0mf0rtable, and he sh0uld be. we all sh0uld be.) ARADIA: really i havent thought about any of that in a long time ARADIA: ancient conflicts dont mean anything to me anymore but i was more than thrilled by the opportunity to go on another adventure like this ARADIA: we used to enjoy such campaigns together all the time when we were younger ARADIA: of course now the teams are a little different :) VRISKA: Yeah! Man, those were the days. JOHN: what about you... why do you have double eye patches? SOLLUX: uh, because i'm blind, stupid? JOHN: i can't tell if you're alive too or not, because i can't see if your eyes are spooky. SOLLUX: they're sp00ky as shit, but yes, i'm alive. SOLLUX: 0k, here's the sh0rt versi0n. i used t0 be able t0 see, but then i went blind. SOLLUX: then i used my p0wers t00 hard, and died. but it turned 0ut i was 0nly half dead. JOHN: half dead? SOLLUX: let me finish. s0 the gh0st half 0f me c0uld see again, s0 i was 0nly half blind. SOLLUX: but then s0meb0dy pr0t0typed my c0rpse, which i guess sucked the gh0st half 0f me 0ut 0f my b0dy, t0 make me fully alive again? als0 fully blind. SOLLUX: and n0w the gh0st part 0f my s0ul is sharing a sprite b0dy with FUCKING ERIDAN 0f all pe0ple. JOHN: who's eridan? SOLLUX: just the d0uche wh0 blinded me in the first place, it d0esn't even matter. JOHN: um, alright. but i don't think i quite followed all of that. JOHN: what does being half dead mean? SOLLUX: y0u kn0w, f0rget it. SOLLUX: i'm s0 sick 0f telling this st0ry t0 pe0ple 0ver and 0ver, and n0b0dy understanding what the hell i'm talking ab0ut. SOLLUX: it's all s0 simple. n0, actually, it isn't, it's a fucking stupid st0ry that makes n0 sense, maybe that's the pr0blem. SOLLUX: my marginal existence is fraught with s0 much p0intless duality and c0mplicated n0nsense, s0 i'm d0ne even trying t0 explain it. SOLLUX: fr0m n0w 0n i sh0uld just wear a shirt that says d0n't ask me ab0ut my disability 0r my m0rtality. then everything w0uld be fine. VRISKA: It's really kind of a shame Gamzee prototyped Eridan's torso parts and swiped his ghost from the afterlife. VRISKA: I 8et he would have had a gr8 time on this voyage. I used to own him during our nautical campaigns all the time! SOLLUX: if he was 0n this ship, i'd walk the plank and plummet thr0ugh the fake ass water thr0ugh infinite n0where f0rever. SOLLUX: besides y0u act like y0u haven't already recruited at least fifty fucking eridans fr0m d00med timelines in y0ur army. SOLLUX: y0u really are shamefully prejudiced against 0ur alternate reality gh0st selves, they're just as real as we are and have the same em0ti0ns and everything. VRISKA: Gimme a 8r8k, Sollux. As if you don't view them the exact same way. VRISKA: You've got real Eridan, and then pretty much a whole 8unch of pretenders out there. SOLLUX: they're all real!!! SHIT, i d0n't even LIKE eridan, but here i am sticking up f0r his c0pies. VRISKA: See? You just called them copies. Even you can't avoid accidentally using a pro8lematic slur which reveals that no matter what you 8elieve a8out your morals, deep down you're always gonna favor the original, while viewing all the others as duplic8tes of lesser value. SOLLUX: 0h whatever. just WHATEVER, rati0nalize the "c0llateral damage" t0 y0ur army all y0u want. SOLLUX: and t0 think, bef0re i j0ined y0ur party i heard rum0rs that y0u might have changed, like learned t0 be a better pers0n 0r s0mething, HEHEH, YEAH RIGHT! VRISKA: Oh pleeeeeeeease. I hardly think I'm a 8ad person for failing to give a shit a8out a 8illion meaningless dead Nepetas, do you?! SOLLUX: n0, y0u're n0t a bad pers0n f0r THAT PARTICULAR reas0n, i guess. VRISKA: What am I seriously supposed to do? Fly around and 8efriend each one individually? VRISKA: Sorry, I have 8etter things to do with my time. Let's try to 8e at least somewhat practical here. ARADIA: ive met most of those nepetas theyre all very nice VRISKA: Oh shut up.