JOHN: you know jake, at first you seemed pretty shy... JOHN: but you don't really seem that way at all now? JOHN: you just strike me as a nice regular dude who likes movies and stuff. JOHN: i'm glad we are getting a chance to talk! JAKE: Yeah me too! JAKE: Ive been feeling way out of sorts since i got sprung from the big house and dragged along to this here frog stage to suddenly bump gums with WAY too many people... JAKE: But you are really good company john and you know how to make a guy feel at ease. JOHN: heh, yeah, it is a lot of people. JOHN: i'm having trouble keeping track of everyone myself! JAKE: They all seem like decent folk and all but... JAKE: I guess everyones catching me at a bad time. JAKE: This wasnt how i pictured things going at all. JOHN: how were you picturing it? JAKE: Naively i suppose. JAKE: Its not that i was expecting differently of anyone else... JAKE: More that i had spurious visions of my own conduct. JAKE: Remember the letter i sent you? JOHN: yes. JAKE: All the excitement and swagger you heard from me in those words... JAKE: Thats the man i thought id be when you met me. JAKE: A man of action and gumption... hell when i wrote that i thought by now maybe people would even have come to see me as a leader! JAKE: What a laugh. JAKE: I turned out to be such a disappointment to myself and everyone else. JAKE: The bravado in that letter was fake ive realized lately. JAKE: Ive realized a lot of things. JAKE: That i could never be a leader or a people person or probably ever have a quality relationship with someone. JAKE: So its hard to get up a lot of moxie for a big moment like this even though im as excited about it as everyone else. JAKE: Tavrosprite already tried cheering me up and hes nice but i dont think it worked. JAKE: Like by saying maybe all that stuff ISNT true and maybe im actually really great in all the ways i dont think i am? JAKE: Its a nice thought but also it weirdly just doesnt make me feel any better. JAKE: John you seem like the kind of guy who likes trying to cheer up a pal so i guess... JAKE: I guess just so you know someone already tried telling me i was wrong and it didnt work. JOHN: i don't think you're wrong though! JOHN: well, i don't know. JOHN: we just met! what could i know about you other than what you tell me? JOHN: i believe you about all that. JOHN: really, it just sounds to me like you are going through a lot of changes. JOHN: changes are good! JOHN: especially if you understand that's what's happening to you. JOHN: i think that's how we grow and stuff. JOHN: i think i've changed in a lot of ways. JOHN: some ways that weren't easy. JAKE: Yeah? JOHN: sure! JOHN: so you're realizing you like being by yourself, it sounds like. JOHN: big deal! JOHN: i like being alone a lot of times too. it helps me think. JOHN: if that's who you are, there's nothing wrong with that. JOHN: jade's grandpa liked being by himself too. JOHN: so much so, that he moved to an island as far away from civilization as possible. JOHN: but he still did adventurous stuff and was super successful and also raised a cool grand daughter, who was actually his daughter, and i guess also yours. JAKE: Huh. JAKE: Yes i guess youre right. JOHN: and if nothing else... JOHN: at least you have a cool costume. JAKE: You... JAKE: You really like it? JOHN: hell yes! JAKE: Wow thanks. JAKE: Sometimes i worry that i might look a little silly. JAKE: And feel kind of... exposed maybe? JAKE: Like im on sexy display or such and people dont see me as a person. JOHN: i wouldn't worry about that. JOHN: i love the god tier pajamas, and yours are badass. JOHN: you look like a super hero! JAKE: Really??? JOHN: yes. JOHN: well... JOHN: maybe a plucky side kick, at LEAST. JAKE: Heheheheh. JOHN: side kicks are really under rated anyway. JOHN: i think in some cases they might be the real stars. JOHN: like, you know bat man? JOHN: truth be told, i think he might just be some kind of gallivanting idiot. JOHN: he's got all the money and skills in the world, and what does he do? JOHN: he buys a fancy car to drive around in, then jumps out and starts punching crooks with his bare hands. JOHN: then, when he gets horn swoggled by a wily clown with NO powers, and a LOT less money, who has to bail him out? JOHN: his side kick of course. JAKE: Yeah youre right! JOHN: what is bat man even trying to prove? being all serious and "cool" looking. JOHN: his side kick looks like he has a lot more fun, and smacks of confidence and self assurance, trotting around in his underpants. JOHN: bat man probably doesn't even care much about stopping crime, it's more about walloping thugs and getting to feel cool. JOHN: if he really cared about stopping bad guys, he'd probably use his fancy money to buy guns, and at LEAST show the criminals he's packing, to make them scared, if not surrender outright. JOHN: i bet his side kick probably just has to wait for bat man to bungle things up with his stupid karate, and when he gets in trouble, the side kick just guns down all the crooks from a safe distance like a sensible person. JAKE: Well i do love guns!!! JAKE: ALSO fisticuffs. JOHN: see? there you go. JOHN: you're better than bat man already. KARKAT: (WHISPER WHISPER WHISPER) KARKAT: (WHISPER WHISPER) JOHN: hold on... JOHN: shh, listen. JAKE: ... KARKAT: (WHISPER WHISPER mayor) KARKAT: (WHISPER WHISPER WHISPER can town?) KARKAT: (WHISPER WHISPER but where? WHISPER WHISPER earth WHISPER) KARKAT: (WHISPER WHISPER WHISPER to scale?? don't see how WHISPER WHISPER WHISPER) KARKAT: (if you're really going WHISPER WHISPER WHISPER build WHISPER WHISPER) JOHN: (ha ha.) JOHN: (he's talking to the mayor again.) JAKE: (so it seems.) JAKE: (they really appear to have quite the rapport.) JOHN: (i just love how he talks to the mayor.) JOHN: (it's like he made up this whole language.) JOHN: (of like minimal talking and hand gestures.) JOHN: (it's so cute!) KARKAT: *AHEM* KARKAT: EGBERT, WHAT THE FUCK. KARKAT: WERE YOU EAVESDROPPING?! JOHN: no! KARKAT: THIS IS A FUCKING PRIVATE CONVERSATION. KARKAT: STOP BEING RUDE GARBAGE. JOHN: i wasn't eavesdropping... JOHN: you just happened to be like... right there. JOHN: and you're a really loud whisperer! KARKAT: OH!!! OK THEN! HERE, HAVE AN EXCESSIVELY *QUIET* (shut the fuck up) JOHN: sorry! JOHN: go back to your cute mayor conference. JOHN: we'll mind our own business. TAVROSPRITE: aCHOO!, TAVROSPRITE: aaaCHOO!!!, JOHN: oh man. JOHN: what's going on now? TAVROSPRITE: aCHOO!,,, JASPERSPRITE: Meow. :3 TAVROSPRITE: aCHOOOOO!!!!! TAVROSPRITE: wHY, TAVROSPRITE: aCHOO,! TAVROSPRITE: wHY, dOES YOUR LUSUS NEED, TAVROSPRITE: aCHOO,!,,! TAVROSPRITE: tO BE HERE,,, TAVROSPRITE: aCHOO!!!, TAVROSPRITE: mY ALLERGIES, }:( JOHN: jaspers?? JOHN: what are you... JOHN: wait a minute. JOHN: rose, is that you?! JASPERSPRITE: Meeeeeow! JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: i turn my back for two seconds, and something stupid happens. TAVROSPRITE: aaaaCHOO,!!!