VRISKA: First, a8out Kanaya and Karkat's "mission" I alluded to a minute ago. This is really important. VRISKA: You 8oth listening?? KANAYA: Yes KARKAT: NO. VRISKA: Ok, well one out of two isn't 8ad. As long as Kanaya understands, that's mainly what matters, since she's the more important part of this equ8tion. KARKAT: WOW, I'M FUCKING SHOCKED! KARKAT: WHAT DO WE, OR, EXCUSE ME... WHAT DOES *SHE* HAVE TO DO? VRISKA: You 8OTH have to go to Jade's planet and see Echidna. VRISKA: Even though this session is a8out as far from "normal" as it can possi8ly get, the same 8asic rules apply. VRISKA: Someone needs to seek an audience with her, and get her to agree to release the genesis frog. VRISKA: Or, the tadpole that grows up to 8ecome the frog, which is the stage of development he's in at this point. VRISKA: Remem8er, Kanaya? You had to do this on your planet, to get our frog released into Skaia. KANAYA: Yeah KANAYA: She Asked Me To Do Something Impossible KANAYA: To Which I Replied KANAYA: Thats Impossible KANAYA: So She Ended Up Demanding That I Fight Her KANAYA: So I Did KANAYA: Which KANAYA: Made Me Feel Sad KANAYA: Id Rather Not Have To Do That Again KANAYA: Will I Have To Do That Again VRISKA: If that's what she wants, then yes. KANAYA: Why Does It Have To Be Me Though VRISKA: 8ecause SOMEONE has to! VRISKA: Sources tell me this is the plan the Condesce had for you, 8efore we derailed all her shit. KANAYA: You Keep Talking About All These Sources KANAYA: Who Are All These Sources KANAYA: Did Arquius Tell You This Too VRISKA: No! Look, I've 8een 8usy, ok? VRISKA: Inform8tion is everywhere if you know where to look. VRISKA: Derse has a lot of agents on the inside who are wise to the old lady's plans. VRISKA: Shaking the 8ushes for good intel isn't that complic8ted, it just takes a little effort! VRISKA: Some people on this lily pad should may8e try looking into that some time. KANAYA: If You Say So VRISKA: Would you just can... VRISKA: Would you just put a LID on it for a second, and listen? VRISKA: Normally Jade would 8e the one to do this, 8ut at the time, Jade had 8ecome corrupted, so I guess Echidna wouldn't deal with her. VRISKA: And now, Jade's asleep! Which is exactly how she needs to stay. VRISKA: So that leaves the person Echidna requested in Jade's a8sence, which is you. VRISKA: I am assuming 8ecause you were also a space player, so you'll 8e a8le to understand her gar8led nonsense language. VRISKA: 8ut that's not all there is to it. She also requested you 8ring Karkat. KARKAT: UGH. KARKAT: WHY THE HELL WOULD SHE WANT TO SEE ME? VRISKA: No idea! VRISKA: Denizens are mysteeeeeeeerious. VRISKA: May8e she wants a knight along? Or a 8lood player? VRISKA: Or may8e she just has a 8one to pick with you in particular. VRISKA: You know, since you and Kanaya were 8oth involved in the frog 8reeding stuff in our session, and, let's face it. VRISKA: You kind of messed that up! You were pretty hasty and reckless a8out it, and the result was a defective frog. VRISKA: Sure, there's more to it than that. Like pro8lems with the human session that were totally interrel8ted with ours due to cyclical time gar8age, 8ut you get the point. VRISKA: Echidna pro8a8ly doesn't take kindly to people who are cavalier with the sacred frog duties. That's kind of her domain, like, the propag8tion of existence and all that. VRISKA: So may8e you've got some stuff to atone for 8efore she agrees to let another precious frog out of her divine custody? KARKAT: YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE, AREN'T YOU. KARKAT: TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT SOME ANCIENT HISTORY, SO I'LL BE NERVOUS ABOUT THIS ENCOUNTER. KARKAT: WELL I'LL SPARE YOU THE TROUBLE. I'M ALREADY NERVOUS! I DON'T WANT TO GO PROSTRATE MYSELF BEFORE A BABBLING SNAKE GODDESS EVEN UNDER IDEAL CIRCUMSTANCES. VRISKA: Karkat, relax. VRISKA: I am guessing this will just 8e a sort of formality. VRISKA: That's how things always struck me with her, like... getting the 8lessing from a queen, or some huge mythical matriarch 8efore proceeding with some incredi8ly important event, or claiming a cosmic reward. VRISKA: Or may8e you'll have to just kill her again? I don't see what difference it makes. VRISKA: Really, who knows what her real purposes are? They're pro8a8ly totally unfathoma8le. VRISKA: Echidna is kind of a 8ig Deal Denizen. One of the real heavy hitters, like that other guy... the really strong one with the ridiculous name. VRISKA: She might even 8e the 8iggest deal. She's the mother of all denizens. I mean, not in a literal sense. Like, I really dou8t she physically spawned them all. VRISKA: So if she wants you to do something, it's serious. And if you need to do something of massive cosmic significance, like release a frog that contains an entire universe in its 8elly, then 8y the same token, it has to go through her. VRISKA: The other denizens are a 8unch of petty grum8ling riddle-merchants 8y comparison. VRISKA: You should feel honored she even wants to see you. KARKAT: HOW ARE WE EVEN SURE SHE HAS A FROG TO RELEASE?? KARKAT: WHO MADE THIS FROG? THE JOKERS FROM THIS SESSION? KARKAT: I THOUGHT THEY SPENT MONTHS DOING NOTHING. VRISKA: It's the same frog Jade made! VRISKA: With Kanaya's help, remem8er? VRISKA: Hell, you may have even 8een involved in that process too. I don't recall every single detail. VRISKA: 8ut it fell in the forge on Jade's planet 8ack in the old session, and now Jade's planet is here. VRISKA: Hence, the frog is here too. It's just 8een... let's say hi8ern8ting inside the planet for a few years. VRISKA: Echidna kept it warm for us until we were ready. Which is now! KARKAT: OK. YEAH, I REMEMBER NOW. KARKAT: SO THE CONDESCE WAS GOING TO MAKE US DO THIS ORIGINALLY? WHY?? VRISKA: 8ecause her goal was pretty much the same as ours! VRISKA: To win this game and cre8 a universe. VRISKA: The 8attle taking place here isn't over WHETHER one will 8e created. VRISKA: It's over who gets to control it when it's made. VRISKA: Ideally, that should 8e us, rather than a genocidal fish dict8tor. VRISKA: In fact, we don't want ANYONE to "control" it. VRISKA: No8ody should control a universe. That's what 8ad guys try to do. VRISKA: We just want it to 8e a nice place to live, and free of any controlling influence that will make life misera8le for the people who live there. VRISKA: Having an attitude a8out the Ultim8 Reward that differs from that in any way was just ANOTHER thing we fucked up the first time around. VRISKA: So let's just 8e clear on what we're fighting for here. VRISKA: Got it?! KARKAT: ... KARKAT: YEAH KARKAT: YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT.