DIRK: Maybe. DIRK: Not sure if I'm ready to accept a pat on the back for recognizing I have some problems, and worrying about whether they'll destroy me and fuck up the people I care about. DIRK: That might be setting the bar kind of low. DAVE: well when it comes to the subject of him DAVE: the bars already pretty low dude DIRK: The weird thing, honestly, DIRK: Is that it's actually kind of refeshing to hear a sincerely leveled critique of all my negative qualities, coming from another person invested in a relationship with me, rather than from a fucked up iteration of myself as some bizarre "trollish" form of self abuse. DIRK: The only thing I've ever been exposed to are either various forms of self loathing either from me or my auto-responder, or attitudes completely oblivious to my real issues, as expressed through my friends. DIRK: My friends always seemed to cut me so much slack, or were just never aware of the kind of person I really was. DIRK: Well, Jake probably is, by now at least. DIRK: But he's also the sort of guy who's just as likely to blame himself for stuff I did, as he is to blame me. DIRK: Jane and Roxy, though. DIRK: Never seemed to see anything wrong with me. DIRK: If anything, just the contrary. DIRK: Roxy in particular had a certain... fixation. DIRK: She meant well, but was so enamored of me, and seemingly everything I did. DIRK: Which I think was the last thing I needed. DIRK: To be idolized in some form by other people I respected. DIRK: I had enough of that feeling coming from within, particularly when I was younger. DIRK: And since then, I've been plagued by the insane ego of my youth in the form of an artificial intelligence I designed which essentially trapped that state of mind in a sort of horrid suspended animation. DIRK: Until... recent developments, of course. DAVE: so DAVE: was that stuff true DAVE: when you said you idolized the other version of me DIRK: Yeah. DAVE: and not just some bullshit like how i used to say the same thing about my bro when i didnt know any better DIRK: It's definitely not like that. DIRK: I never lived with him, or met him, so couldn't have anything like the contentious relationship you had with my older self. DIRK: He was a historical figure from centuries ago. DIRK: There was a lot to admire, and think about fondly. DIRK: Especially since I was alone, and never had any direct contact with another person, or any concept of civilization. DIRK: So even though I'm sure I romanticized what his life was like, and the early 21st century in general, DIRK: It was nice to think about you. DIRK: I passed a lot of time that way.