JAKE: Tavrosprite thank you for surreptitiously scooting away with me to my planet. JAKE: I hope they all dont think me too much of a soggy knickerbocker for ducking off without making the rounds and saying goodbye. JAKE: I just needed to get away and clear my head and i guess get my dander up for this great green man-fracas i am to solely contend with apparently?? JAKE: Say tavrosprite... JAKE: Youll help me with out this impending pugilism wont you? TAVROSPRITE: oH, yEAH! TAVROSPRITE: i'M DEFINITELY READY, tO BRING THE SICK FIRE, tO TAVROSPRITE: tHOSE GUYS ALLEGED TO BE INSIDE,,, aN ENCHANTED OVEN, JAKE: Atta boy tavvy!!! JAKE: Oops is it ok if i call you tavvy? TAVROSPRITE: yES, i LOVE IT, }:) JAKE: Actually wait. JAKE: No i think i wont on second thought tavvy sounds fucking stupid. TAVROSPRITE: yEAH, pROBABLY, TAVROSPRITE: oKAY, JAKE: So were agreed then. JAKE: We wait here and limber up and flex our stupendous guns a bit then let sail our haymakers once the circus trundles into town. TAVROSPRITE: i, pROBABLY UNDERSTOOD THAT REMARK, aND AGREE, JAKE: I just wonder if theres anything else for me to DO aside from kiss my knuckles and lather them up with elbow grease. JAKE: Turn my ten favorite boys out for a bracing constitutional you know? TAVROSPRITE: ,,,,,nO, JAKE: Should i be... JAKE: SOUL SEARCHING or... JAKE: Straining my brain to have some sort of magnificent epiphany about myself? JAKE: Is this... JAKE: Is this IT for me? Is this all there is to understand? TAVROSPRITE: uM,,, JAKE: Maybe theres only so much ragged wood a man can scrape from a barrels basement. JAKE: Maybe sometimes a fellas gotta fess up to the fact that all there is to get about hims been firmly got already. JAKE: Ive pretty much concluded that im a complete waste of everyones time if i bother busying their lives with my brand of beeswax and buffoonery. JAKE: I settled square on the determination that i need to just be alone for most of my life and you know what im perfectly ok with that idea. JAKE: Im just a lunk head and a loner and thats that. JAKE: What else is there wonder about myself or my future except which face is most deserving of my fist? TAVROSPRITE: sINCE YOU PUT EVERYTHING THAT WAY, aND SINCE SOMETIMES IT'S HARD TO DISAGREE WITH A LOT OF CONSECUTIVE WORDS, TAVROSPRITE: i THINK i AGREE WITH YOU, TAVROSPRITE: mAYBE YOU'VE FIGURED OUT EVERYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF THAT MATTERS, TAVROSPRITE: tHAT WOULD BE AWESOME!, lET'S BOTH PUT EXTRA EFFORT INTO HOPING IT'S TRUE, JAKE: Thats the ticket! JAKE: I love my aspect it feels so empowering every time i want to feel like somethings real when tons of facts are missing. JAKE: I really am a lucky son of a bitch arent i tavvy. Shit i mean tavrosprite. Blech what i bad nickname sorry!!! JAKE: But yeah thats pretty much what the doctor ordered for old jake english. No romantic stuff. No platonic stuff either! JAKE: Ill be like... Mr nonrom sansplat... Or... Oh horsenoodles there has to be terminology that more effectively consolidates my present understanding of myself into a coherent identity i can get enthusiastic about. JAKE: Maybe the troll lingo has the answers. Or maybe im pioneering some sort of... shadow quadrant system?? Ooh lordy wouldnt that be a swift kick in the netherdumplings. JAKE: What do you think tavvyboy should i take my idea to the troll patent office and make a mint? TAVROSPRITE: i DON'T THINK WE HAVE A THING LIKE THAT, TAVROSPRITE: aLSO, TAVROSPRITE: aLL OF MY PEOPLE ARE EXTINCT, aND MY PLANET IS BADLY EXPLODED, JAKE: Oh yeah. JAKE: Heh oopsie. TAVROSPRITE: bUT YEAH, tRAGEDY SITUATIONS NOT IN CONSIDERATION,,, TAVROSPRITE: i SYMPATHIZE ENTIRELY WITH YOUR SOCIAL IMPASSE, cAUSING NOT GOOD REFLECTIONS ABOUT YOURSELF, tHAT MAYBE ALSO DOUBLE AS LIBERATING STUFF ABOUT YOU THAT YOU RANDOMLY DECIDE IS FINE SUDDENLY, TAVROSPRITE: oLD ACQUAINTANCES, aND GUYS YOU ONCE CALLED FRIENDS, TAVROSPRITE: tHOSE ARE VERY HARD, TAVROSPRITE: bECAUSE OVER TIME THEY GET EXPOSED TOO MUCH, tO ALL MY FLAWS AND INSECURITIES, TAVROSPRITE: aND THEY START LIKING ME LESS BECAUSE OF THAT, TAVROSPRITE: aT LEAST, tHAT'S HOW THE TRUTH FEELS, iN MY BRAIN, TAVROSPRITE: sO i START THINKING, mAYBE THEY CAN'T BE THAT IMPORTANT TO ME, aFTER ALL, iF i'M GOING TO WANT TO FEEL NOT SAD ABOUT MYSELF ALL THE TIME, TAVROSPRITE: bUT THEN, aLSO, TAVROSPRITE: i REALLY DO ENJOY MAKING *NEW* FRIENDS, TAVROSPRITE: aND EVEN THOUGH i DON'T HAVE MANY TALENTS OR BATTLE SKILLS, oR INTELLIGENCE, oR DISCERNIBLE POSITIVE QUALITIES, TAVROSPRITE: oNE THING i THINK i'M GOOD AT THAT PEOPLE UNDERESTIMATE, TAVROSPRITE: iS MAKING NEW FRIENDS, wHO DON'T KNOW MY FLAWS YET, }:) JAKE: Yeah... JAKE: Yeah! JAKE: Cheese and crackers tavvers what an inspirational little spiel that just was. JAKE: Mayhaps youve more concealed talents than you let on?? TAVROSPRITE: nO, aBSOLUTELY NOT, bUT THANK YOU, TAVROSPRITE: aAA,, TAVROSPRITE: aAAAA,,, cHOO! TAVROSPRITE: aCHOO!,! JAKE: Tavmeister are you ok? TAVROSPRITE: aAACHOO! TAVROSPRITE: aCHOOOOOOO,,,! JAKE: Heavens to murgatroyd park tavenue whats the matter??
TAVROSPRITE: aACHOO! TAVROSPRITE: aCHOOO,!, JAKE: Speak to me lobster tavioli!!!
TAVROSPRITE: aAAAA,,,,, TAVROSPRITE: cHOOOOOOOOOOOO! TAVROSPRITE: aCHOO, aCHOO, aCHOO!!! JAKE: Ey! Rikki tikki tavi! Lay it on me bro... do you need to go to a hospital or what?!