Jack: Don comical hat.

This frivolous headdress turns your stomach. You'd sooner stick your head in a furnace than coax it into this monstrosity's loathsome colorful maw.

It's bad enough that your EXALTED RULER ordered everyone to drape themselves in these hideous rags the moment the troublesome human with the pipe and his child showed up.

But you draw the line at the hat.

> Jack: Call a minion.