Dirk: Answer Auto-Responder.

TT: Bro.
TT: What are you doing.
TT: It seems you are zoning out again.
TT: What happened to all these actual responsibilities you were going to take seriously?
TT: I was thinking about what to do.
TT: Strategizing. Factoring contingencies. You know how it is.
TT: It seems to me you were dwelling within your dream awareness at the expense of your waking business again.
TT: I don't think you're as awesome a multi-tasker as you like to think. You know you kind of zombie the fuck out on this side when you get all contemplative on that side.
TT: Appearances are deceptive.
TT: I'm still in control here. Just doing this human thing we call "chilling out for half a goddamn minute."
TT: I say y'all are overestimating your mind's capability to run shit in parallel.
TT: What do you think you are? A machine?
TT: No dude.
TT: I already deployed a variety of mechanical avatars dedicated to that self-aggrandizing fantasy.
TT: You have the incredible privilege of getting to be one of them.
TT: That's right. I am a machine, and therefore I can keep like billions of calculations or whatever all humming away at once.
TT: I tackle shit in background processes that you could only dream of wrapping your exquisite looking head around, even on a great hair day.
TT: You know pi?
TT: What, you mean the number?
TT: Yes, the number. The big circle number, genius.
TT: I knew you meant the fucking number, my question was a joke.
TT: I know your question was a joke, my response was a joke.
TT: Yeah, I know that. I'm practically you, dumbass. All these things we're saying are jokes, including this fuckin' useless clarification.
TT: What about pi?
TT: Yeah, the thing is, I solved it.
TT: What do you mean you solved it?
TT: I mean that's what a hotshot I am. I fuckin' solved it.
TT: Like, calculated it so much, I got to the end.
TT: Bullshit.
TT: You wish it was bullshit. The last number is 4. Read it and fucking weep.
TT: It's not 4 you jackass, it's fucking nothing. There is no end.
TT: Said the smug organic matter with a lifespan.
TT: Look, I know you're just fucking with me because for some reason I decided to program my own personal troll three years ago, but this shit was proven.
TT: Actually demonstrated with unassailable mathematics, like a long ass time ago.
TT: Well, I just assailed it. It wasn't even that hard.
TT: Like I just kept hacking those digits so furiously with my sick 'rithms, the whole goddamn number just cried uncle.
TT: I kind of wore it out, and it just gave up. Sort of like I overloaded the system.
TT: You know like in the old movie when Ferris Bueller got the nuclear computer to play tic-tac-toe against itself so hard, it blew up?
TT: This is laughable. It's a totally elementary thing. I'm pretty sure an ancient Greek guy settled shit about irrational numbers. It was practically when math was invented.
TT: Sure, it was settled, and then some roboshades came along and owned that fucker posthumously.
TT: I also figured out all the prime numbers too.
TT: No, not having this conversation.
TT: Did it while we were talking just now. Got to the end.
TT: And you know what? The last one isn't even that big. Kinda dissapointed, to be honest.
TT: What is even a prime number?
TT: Are they the, like... really, really choice ones? The sweetest numbers?
TT: You lost me, supercomputer.
TT: This is what I'm saying. I put your ability to keep plates spinnin' on sticks to insane amounts of shame.
TT: I don't even sleep.
TT: Neither do I.
TT: I know that, that was the fucking joke.
TT: Holy shit, turns out joking was the basis for my response too.
TT: Aren't these ironic "you don't get the joke" conversations we have always just so awesome? <- A joke.
TT: Ha ha, nice one.
TT: Anyway, all I'm saying is you can leave some of the heavy lifting to me now and then.
TT: I'll keep that in mind.
TT: In the meantime, I have to contact Jane and warn her Roxy might try to pull that pointless stunt.
TT: So, thanks for snapping me out of my daydream so I could do that, I guess?
TT: Looks like you're pulling your weight already.
TT: See? Maybe that was my whole point in having this conversation.
TT: Your point was to fuck with me, like it usually is.
TT: My point was to point out you've got multi-self management issues, dude.
TT: Jugglin' too many selves for being not-software.
TT: My point was also to fuck with you.
TT: Also,
TT: My point was to ask,
TT: Are you really going to go through with it today?
TT: What?
TT: The Jake thing.
TT: Oh god.
TT: Will you just,
TT: Hold on.
TT: Let me deal with the Jane thing first.

> Dirk: Warn Jane.
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