TT: So. TT: Best birthday ever? TT: Or best FUCKING birthday ever. GG: Ha. GG: In the interest of appeasing the irony gods, let's go with the latter. TT: Whatever role I played in ruining your party. TT: Sorry about that. GG: Oh lord. The LAST thing I give a shit about is my stupid "sweet sixteen". GG: What a farce. I was trying to act as if we were all living normal well adjusted lives, albeit in a marvelous fantasy setting populated by skeletons. GG: And if only we just had some cake and wore some hats and I blew out all the candles in one big puff, we could pretend all the problems we had with each other would magically stop existing. GG: And the most horrifying thing of all is, I actually got my wish! GG: Haha. Thanks, Calliope. GG: Oh well. I'm sure she had good intentions. TT: Yeah. TT: I still think I've been pretty lousy to you. I had my head up my ass for a while there. TT: By the time your birthday came around, I was kinda freaking out about Jake. TT: I thought I had the situation under control. But I didn't. Not just with Jake, but with respect to pretty much everything. GG: I understand. GG: Boy, you really let him have it back there! TT: I guess so. GG: I had a similar meltdown with him earlier. I'm not going to lie. It felt really good. TT: Heh. GG: At least, it did at the time. GG: I only wish I could have stayed as lucid as you during our... GG: Transformation. GG: How did you manage that? TT: It wasn't on purpose. Actually if I had a choice, I probably would have just said, fuck it. Sugar shock my brain, please. TT: Suffice to say, I have trouble escaping from myself. It's kind of a problem. Let's not talk about it though. Please continue. GG: Okay. GG: So instead of keeping my cool like you, I just started gushing over him like a lovestruck loon, surrendering any sliver of dignity I might have earned by telling him off earlier. GG: I just cannot believe some of the things I said. Oh God. I told him I wanted to get married and have babies!!! TT: Yeah but to be fair, by the time you came looking for me, all three of you were saying that to anything that moved. GG: I know! But... GG: It's one thing to write off something you say to an altered state of mind. But what makes the admission so mortifying to me is... GG: I actually MEANT it. GG: And I'm sure he must know that by now. GG: And now I feel so humiliated I just want to die. GG: I would ask him to shoot me right here, if I could bring myself to say a word to him. TT: Somehow I don't think he's up to the task. TT: Which is doubly unfortunate, since that's literally what we all came here to do. TT: Speaking personally, I'd probably run this sword through my own dick before I could bring myself to kill Roxy. Even for her own good. TT: So. TT: When the chips are down, I guess that's how much of a badass I really am. GG: Woo!!! GG: We are all such WINNERS. TT: Yeah, our moxie's off the fuckin' charts.
GT: Rox? TG: wat GT: Am i an asshole? TG: no j GT: I think i might be an asshole. GT: All of my friends hate me now. GT: Are you sure im not just an asshole and never actually realized it? TG: well maybe youre an asshole sometimes but its always on accident and most people are accidental assholes a lot of times anyway so who cares GT: I cant believe i was so oblivious to the feelings of all the people i care about. GT: How could i not see that jane was in love with me? I really am a dope. GT: I guess i did know deep down at some point... but then i somehow convinced myself otherwise? GT: I cant even imagine how she must have felt all this time i was seeing dirk. And all those times i talked her ear off about our relationship! Oh goodness. TG: yuuup GT: I wonder what things would be like if she told me? GT: Maybe its better she didnt in the end. GT: I probably would have just broken her heart like i did with dirk. GT: I should say something to her but im not sure what to say. I dont think she wants to hear anything from me to be honest. GT: Maybe you could tell her im sorry for me? TG: why cant you just tell her TG: shes right there GT: I dunno. Shes obviously so mad at me. I cant bring myself to say anything. GT: Im also just really fucking chagrined over how i treated her. GT: If i was brave i could face that feeling and just talk to her and try to make us square. GT: But i dont think i really am brave. GT: Im not brave and i dont think i love adventure either. TG: wow... jake... GT: You know how you think you know these things about yourself? GT: Like all these personal attributes about you as if theyre written down somewhere like a sort of mini biography so they have to be true. GT: So you just believe them and hope that the believing is what makes them true. GT: But then you spend so much time believing those things and taking their truth for granted that you somehow forget to MAKE them true with your words and deeds. GT: How can i truly love adventure when i never even knew what it was? GT: I dont think its raiding tombs and clobbering scoundrels. GT: That stuffs fun and all but thats not what adventure is. GT: Adventure is... GT: Its something else. GT: Its doing the things im genuinely afraid to do. GT: But cant. GT: Because im a coward. TG: ok ok stop shittin on urself ill tell her for you